A Daughter Needs A Dad, Yet God Needed Him More!

[Magic2022]

I was only 19 at the time, and it feels just like yesterday! My dad had been a very overweight most of his life. It was a constnt struggle for him and ended up getting the best of him. I was home from college, and it had been my first semester. Around December their already was alot of obstacles happening! My grandma had been diagnosed with colon cancer, and was to have surgery on December 20, 2007. My mom and I left our home in the beginning of December to be with her, as my dad had his job to contend with, and would be down at a later time. Little did I know that, would be the last time I would see him. December 20, 2007 Grandma goes in for colon cancer surgery; same day my dog of 10 years was put down because she had cancer as well. My dad was on the phone saying goodbye to her, and it was ironic that I would be saying goodbye to him five days later. I last talked to him on the 24, and told him I loved him and I missed him.

On December 25, 2007 my mom talked with my dad early that morning, and he wasn't feeling well. He really hadn't been feeling well all week; and he just didn't seem to be himself from the sound of his voice. I was going to call him later that day on the 25th to wish him merry christmas, but never got to. My mom talked to him about 9:00 that morning. My dads sister called my mom and was like have you spoken with him cause I can't seem to get a hold of him. My mom called him again later in the day around 2:00pm, 6:00pm, 8:30pm and still no answer! My mom thought maybe he was just so sick and tired he wasn't answering the phone, or maybe he had gone somewhere, yet he would of told us. She called him all the way till 2:00am. And had a strange feeling that something horrible had happened. I wasn't aware of all of this at the time, because she didn't want to alarm me. The next morning on December 26, 2007 she woke me up early and said something is not right, I feel like something horrible has happened to your dad! We had our neighbors who are like my second parents, who live two doors down go and see if his car was in the driveway. It unfortunaley was. They has a key to our house and opened it and called his name; still no answer. They walked in and found him peacefully laying in his chair. They called us and my mom, aunt and I were in the hallway of my grandmas home, and I will never forget the feeling.

My mom answered the phone and said he died didn't he? And her friend replied hes gone.....he just.....gone. My mom started crying, and I was in so much shock I couldn't even catch my breath. I wasn't sure what to do and I had cried yet, I just froze. My mom and I got back in the car and came back from our trip to what I have never experienced before a cold empty house; yet an empty heart as well. The medical examiner said his heart blew, meaning a rip in his aorta. It was quick and they said he didn't look like he was in pain. His funeral was January 2, 2008 and having to bury my father was an image I will never forget. Life has been extremley hard without him. I have never felt the same. I felt so much sadness, and things were going through my head, of previous things that you wish you hadn't said/ things you wish you had said. I flet angry and felt like he just went up and left us. My dad was the one who worked so it has really been hard on my mom and I.

Their were so many people that loved him, yet he was so miserable from his weight. He was such a brillant man and was a doctor of pharmacology, specializing in cardiology. He wasn't happy here on earth, and I know he is in a better place with God. He was only 52 and what kills me the most is how I think about all that he will miss out on. I won't get to have their when I eventually graduate from college, or if I get married someone to walk me down the aisle, or even be a grandparent if I have children.

He will be someone that I always remember and never forget. Yet my heart still aches as if it was yesterday. He really was such a wonderful person but like I said his weight got the best of him. I will love him forever and always, but their are times I cry so much because I wish I could have him back. Their are so many times in the day I htink about him, or see his picture, or his doctor attire, and think I wish you were here and sometimes I hug his attire as if im hugging him. My heart goes out to those who have all lost a parent. Its something you know will eventually happen, but when it does it still feels like a shock. The nineteen years I had him im very grateful for. Im still mourning, and sometimes just don't know what to do. But I know GOD has a plan for me and he can never give us to much we can't handle!

Magic2022

[Xiaoru]

Thank you for your post. I connected with what you wrote. I just lost my dad 3 months ago, and I am 22 years old. It's very difficult to lose a parent this young, and I too often think of all the future events in my life where I know he would have loved to be at. It hurts so much and I miss him.

Stay strong,

Biru