Have To Go Back To Work Tomorrow.......

[eldersister]

OK, so I took a week off of work after my brother died. My co workers sent an arrangement to the funeral, and two co-workers came to the funeral. I am a social worker. You would think I know how to do this....and I've done it before, after my mom died....but I got the call that they were doing CPR on my brother at work....and I sat there, listening to them call the code....I broke down in tears, I sobbed. I cried. One of my co-workers hugged me, and I sat with tears running down my face, until I could drive myself home, to organize things....

I realized yesterday that I can't get warm....me....the queen of the hot flashes....is wearing sweatshirts in 60 degree weather....and tomorrow, I have to put on makeup and deal with other people's problems. I'm cold and I'm still not sleeping....I've never been a good sleeper, but the past 3 monthes of my brother in the hospital, sleeping with the cellular phone next to my bed....and having it ring at least once a week with another emergency with him...my body is still in "High alert mode" in addition to the shock mode....

This is so hard.

[Korina]

I am so sorry that you had to find us. That said, I am glad you are here, as I have found this forum has been a huge help and a wonderful outlet.

A week seems like such a short time to have before going back to work, considering the week must have been a whirl of unhappy activity. The activity of work may be a useful way to keep on moving, but I am sure you know you will have to take time to address your loss and your grief. So I hope you do get some more time off sometime soon. And yah, it is SOOOO hard. Especially during this season. Otherwise, I don't have any spectacular words of wisdom, as I have had the opportunity over the last 6 months to start to come to terms with my husband's death, as I have been on maternity leave. But everyone here truly cares.

Hugs,

Korina