Normal?

[derby]

Hi

I understand whatever it is we feel, it can be normal. Last night while centering at a yoga class ( a term used for breathing correctly while relaxing) I had the visualization of my husband when we walked into his room as he had just died. The image of that surfaced in my mind/memory. In the beginning of my journey it was something I kept replaying in my mind. Why is it, I thought of it last night again? Is it possible I still have not yet come to terms with the fact he really did die? Are the memories of that fateful day in someway a tramua I will never be able to get out of my mind? Really was unsettling for me to go back to that process of it happening and the fear and dis-belief he really did leave. I know it probably does not make sense, but it is something I would rather not think about. ANy ideas? Debbie

[marsha]

Debbie: You know, I just started yoga 3 weeks ago, but I had the same feeling, during the same exercise. The instructor was speaking calming words during the end of class breathing. I felt tears come to my eyes - it was like my mind was opening up. But I welcomed it. The reality and trauma were always with me, big time, over and over, for a long time. And this IS a trauma, that we're going through. Pushing it away is normal, I mean, who wants to think of the circumstances of our spouse's deaths, over and over? It came unbidden to me, whether I wanted to think or not. But - it changes. Hugs, Marsha

[Korina]

I find I am reliving those last three days, and many regrets, whenever I am walking, particularly on my way to pick up Kailyn. Not totally the same as yoga, but walking has always been a time when I reflect, problem solve, or mull over guilty feelings. Funny, just this morning I wondered if I was always going to relive those days like this...

Korina