To My Cousin

[benpm]

Okay, some miscommunication or changes at the funeral. I kinda thought people might be speaking about Jennifer. The following comment is what I had considered saying, not sure I would have the nerve, but I was prepared with these thoughts.

Hello, I always taught my son two important things, know the author, and when you write, know your audience. So, I am Jennifer's Cousin Patrick. I have been not so much a part of Jennifer's life recently, so many of you may not know me. In recent years my half brother past away, and i would never speak at his funeral, because I wasn't a major part of his life. Then my father died, and again, we where just getting to know each other, I had blood, but didn't feel important enough. Same with Tommy, we had a falling out of sorts, and although I always thought of him as a brother when we where growing up, sorry Vickie, it was because I was an only child at the time, and it was the closest I knew to a brother. I felt I had no place speaking on him at a funeral. The last few years I have been going through some stuff, and out of touch, so what allows me to speak at Jennifer's funeral?

Simply, what I could never come to understand before, that I love her. I loved my father, my brother, and Tommy too. And realize today, that although differences at the time of departure kept us apart, I loved them too.

So who is my audience? Simply, everyone here that loved Jennifer.

Jennifer was full of life. She suffered from some of her own demons, blame that on the Lisowski genes many of you have no clue about. Let's just say, they are a blessing and a curse. Jennifer didn't just like people, she seemed to show genuine love for all the people in her life. This is especially true of her children. Any mother can take notes from her life, and learn the lesson of love that she taught in being an awesome mom. She leaves behind four beautiful children, that I must say are a joy to be around, because of two parents that loved them abundantly. That much love, will never leave, it is like a stamp on the heart pounded in by a mac truck. It's pretty much permanent, and that is a gift only a few truly blessed people can impart.

So to those of you who wonder why I am talking so damn much, this is the point. It took me three awkward funerals to realize this. The only entitlement you need to speak about Jennifer today, is that you loved her. You can be a new friend, and old friend, or a friend lost in time. All you need is to love her, and all you need is to say that you love her, and will miss her. There is no other prerequisite.

So Jennifer, I love you, and will miss you, and my life is better and blessed, having known and grown up with you.