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Missing My Brother


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My brother passed away suddenly 5 weeks ago today, and it has been very difficult. Both our parents are gone as well, and I have other siblings, but not like this one. He wasn't married--his siblings were his family--he had had surgery two weeks prior to passing away. He was staying with my family and I (my husband, and our two children 11 and 6). He had gone in for a post op check up and collapsed--died within 10 minutes. When he had left my house to go in for his check up he was fine--happy, smiling, and he was recovering very well from his surgery (knee replacement). I got a call about an hour after he left--the hospital telling me he collapsed and was taken to the ER, and that his oxygen levels were low. They called me back in less than 10 minutes and said I had to get to the hospital immediately. When I got there (I had called the hospital several times on my way in)they told me he passed away--I couldn't believe it then, and I still don't believe it. I look at his obit. and the cards from him funeral, but I keep telling myself that it's wrong--he's not gone. I've been meeting with my other siblings to clear out his house, and belongings. That has been terible. The last two times I have been there--I either get there crying or leave crying. It's horrible. My other siblings (not all of them) just seem to go about as usual. There are two siblings that are only concerned about "what can I get". I would give everything just to have him back with us again. He was the type of person that always helped others--his last wish was to be a donor--which he was. He was a firefighter for years. And, he was ALWAYS there to help his siblings--but he never asked for anything in return. Everytime I saw him or talked to him he would have a new joke to tell me--and his jokes would make me giggle--I would try to have one to share with him--but I knew he would always have one to share with me.

My youngest son thought a lot of my brother as well. We went to his school last night for an info. meeting. The children had to draw a picture and short sentence--about what they did over the summer--he drew a house, and his sentence was I went to my uncle's house--a few days before school started--I found him just sobbing. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he misses his uncle.

I feel awful--I'm angry at other siblings that have been so disrespectful about his death--and the lack of mourning they have done for him. He would have done anything for them, but they won't even give him the time to mourn his passing. THe two other siblings I talk about are both very very self centered, and greedy.

I have lost my Mom and Dad, and now my brother all in a 7 year period--I know it should be enough time, but it isn't. I miss my parents dearly, and now to have my brother taken away so quickly--it's hard to accept another death. It seems as if they only time my extended family gets together anymore is for funerals. I love my husband very much, but I recent the fact that his family is intact. And, he has two siblings that are very cruel and vicious.

I must run now, but thank you for letting me put down some of this.

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