Birthdays

[Guest Nicholas]

No doubt this has been posted many times before but 2nd April would have been Thanomsil's birthday, how do you cope on

such days? My own birthday was 29th Jan and I just cried and cried but did go and see

a friend. I have arranged to have lunch with the same friend on 2nd April

but I know I will be so sad. But if I don't meet anyone, I will

just stay in bed and cry.

[sunstreet]

Dear Nicholas,

Birthdays, Holidays, Anniversaries of special times, all these are so hard Nicholas as they are such poignant reminders of what we have lost. This year is the first year since all my losses that I am actually looking forward to my Birthday and am thinking on what I can do to celebrate. Oh Nicholas, it takes time, how much is an unknown, but just time and these dates will no longer feel like someone is placing a dagger right into your heart and then twisting it. I am so sorry for the pain your are in Nicholas.

I am happy to learn that you allowed your feelings on your Birthday for when we keep it bottled up inside is when the pain just grows and grows, so good on you Nicholas that you allowed your self to cry. I am also happy that you met with a friend on your Birthday. Those are all good ways to cope Nicholas. Belated Birthday wishes Nicholas, even though it was most likely your most painful Birthday ever, I still want to acknowledge and celebrate the day of your birth.

I will be thinking of you on April 2 as you go through Thanomsil's first Birthday after his death. My best advice is to not run or try to suppress your pain. A friend once said to me " healing is feeling" and I believe this to be so true. I know that you write well and is a passion of yours so maybe have some pen and paper on hand in case words just want to flow out of you. I encourage you to listen to your heart as it knows what your soul needs for nourishment and healing. I will light a candle for Thanomsil, in memory and in celebration of his life. In bed all day...weeping...is just fine if that is what it takes to get through Nicholas. I encourage you to just let your grief take the path it needs, and try to eat something, drink some water, and just treat yourself with tender loving care.

I hold in you gentle thought and prayer.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[Guest Nicholas]

Dear Carol Ann,

Thank you so much, as always - forewarned is forearmed.

Nicholas

[Guest Nicholas]

Happy Birthday, son.

Missing you more than words can ever say.

xxxx

[sunstreet]

Dear Nicholas,

Thinking of you and thank you for sharing another picture of Thanomsil with us. I continue to hold you in gentle thoughts and prayers. Thanomsil so loved and so blessed by his wonderful Father.

Take good gentle care Nicholas.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[niamh]

Such a beautiful photo of your son.

I'm so sorry Nicholas, birthdays are so extra difficult when they used to be happy times. My Dad's birthday is this friday, I have taken the day off work. I still plan on getting a card for him and I am going to send a chinese lantern off aswell from the cemetary..........I saw people doing this New Year's Eve and just thought it seemed like such a nice idea, I plan to write a note and watch it float off and somehow imagine it will get to "Heaven" or wherever !! A close friend will come with me. Other than that I just plan to treat myself that day,go have a nice lunch, have one of my Dad's fav cakes for him.

I hope you made it through the day "ok"

((hugs)) to you

Niamh