Remaining Positive But...

[mfh]

I got the official Dx for my friend today....It is stage 1 C clear cell ovarian cancer so of course I began to read and learned that this is rare and aggressive with a poorer prognosis than other forms of ovarian cancer. Stage 1 is a huge positive but the tumor leaked and my obsessive mind starts..well...obsessing.

I lost two first cousins who I dearly loved to ovarian cancer when they were in their early 50s and I have been as monitored as one can be for it on a regular basis but there are no tests that are fool proof...in reality it is usually diagnosed later. In this case, I am hoping no cells have escaped. Like most of us, cancer is too familiar to us. My brother had melanoma and should never have survived. It was found a week before he was ordained a priest at age 28. He waited for three weeks so he could be ordained with his class and it was a close call. He made it. I do not know how. It was long ago before they had the treatments they now have. I believe he had a mission here. He then had cancer two more times and is now being kept alive with a drug he takes once a month. it is the final recourse. They have tried it all. I have lost many aunts to breast cancer. All of this leaves me pretty frightened of cancer, not for me mind you, but for those I love and do not want to lose.

So today, I took the day to rest, diddled around most of the day, slept a lot, and get my center back some and fought my fears. I feel very vulnerable regarding all this right now. Fragile. It taps into my losses. I talked to Cathy and they were waiting to see if she had an infection so not sure if she went home today or they kept her. I will call shortly.

Thanks for listening.

Mary