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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Lost My Borther And Nephew

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First of all, thank you so much for this site. I feel so blessed to have found a forum where I can relate to people who have gone through similar loss. It helps a great deal to know that, unfortunately, we all share a similar bond. It helps me get out of the "I must be the noly one who feels like this" mode.

My brother (37 years old) and nephew (17 years old) were killed in a car accident on Dec 1, 2005. A 21 year old driver was in a hurry, tried to get around a car making a left turn, and lost control of his vehcle, slamming into a car driven by my nephew. My nephew died instantly at the scene but my brother held on for five days before we knew that he would not recover and removed life support. Today is one week since the funeral service and I am extremely distracted as I sit at my desk at work. Staying focused on anything else for more than a few minutes at a time has been difficult.

I live in Kansas while the rest of my family lives in California so it is difficult to do much for them from this far away. I was blessed to have been able to see my brother before he passed and to be able to eulogize both my brother and nephew. However, I still feel like there is more I should be doing but don't know what that should be. I am sure this is a "normal" feeling but it doesn't make it any easier.

It still seems so surreal, like it didn't really happen and they will call me at any minnute. My brother was a good friend and I loved my nephew as if he was my own son. I miss them already and know that the heartache will only grow as we get through the holidays.

My brother was just building his own construction business and was such an amazing family man, completely devoted to his wife and son. He could do incredible things with his hands.

My nephew was a champion gymnast with dreams of the Olympics. He was only 6 months from graduation and dreamed of going to Stanford to comete collegiately. He had already been contacted by UCLA to join their team. Such promise but a life cut so short.

I take some solace in the fact that I believe that they are together. Something in my heart tells me that this is the way it was meant to be. That if they were going to leave this Earth, it is appropriate that they went together. But, at the same time, that only makes the hole in my heart that much bigger.

I don't think I have a specific question but thanks for letting me just "talk" about it.

A Very Proud Uncle and Brother

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