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CherylMc

Anticipatory grief is consuming me

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My dad is on hospice right now with terminal liver cancer.  My mom had hip surgery and is in a rehab facility.  They are actually together because the rehab is in a nursing home, so my dad can have hospice provided there.  Since my dad won't be able to go home, my mom will unlikely be going home either.  Although only my dad is terminal, I feel like I'm losing them both.  Anticipatory grief is just consuming me.  I feel as though I should be doing more, but can't realistically or mentally. I'm overwhelmed with sadness, guilt, anxiety, worry.  I find it hard to have hope or joy in anything.  I was already depressed before all this, as I had to put two of our dogs to sleep over the last three months.  It's been one thing after another.  I've questioning every decision I've made recently about everything.  So, now I don't know if I'm making the right decisions about my parents.

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I'm sorry, Cheryl, I just read your other post, before this one.  Having multiple losses like this at once is a lot to deal with.  Try to take a day at a time.  I'm sure you'll make right decisions, we can only do our best.  It's common to second guess ourselves in grief, but I hope you'll take good care of yourself and give yourself credit for doing the best you know how.
You may not be feeling "guilt" following loss, but I felt the article was good all the same because it talks about us feeling responsible, and it addresses that, so I hope you will read it in the light it is shared:
http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/12/grief-and-burden-of-guilt.html

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