bmb60

My dad died on January 1, 2003. His death was very sudden and unexpected. I still struggle with tremendous grief over him. While I have never experienced exactly what you are describing, I do feel that my dad visits me from time to time in my dreams. I believe this to be him because these are not your ordinary dreams. They are real. Vivid in nature to the point where I can almost touch him. Our conversations are very detail oriented and it usually focuses on a difficult time I am experiencing or even personal achievements. Most people probably think I am crazy but my wife, my mother-in-Law and my brother all believe that this is my dad visiting me. It's wonderful.

Three years ago my wife and I suffered tremendous losses. In August of 2002 my step-father (age 60) (Over the years he had become one of my best friends) underwent major heart surgery. He eventually had a heart transplant as well. After four longs months of suffering he died on the day after Christmas in 2002. As if this wasnt bad enough in October of 2002 my Dad (age 72) (my hero and very best friend) suffered a heart attack. He had stints placed in his heart and everything seemed to be going well. However on New Years day 2003 as he was out for his daily walk he suddenly had a second heart attack and died beside the street where he lived. This was only two days after we had buried my step dad. On the day of my Dad's funeral my wife's grandmother (90+)passed away. Grandmother's death had been expected for sometime but still this was a lot for us to cope with in a weeks time. I have never suffered such pain in my life. I thought like most people that over time the loss of my dad and step father would be easier to cope with but I find myself struggling desperately to keep from falling into depression. For the most part I cope very well but this time of year is especially difficult. I feel like I am cheating my wife and son out of their "happy holiday" spirit becasue I am so desperatly depressed. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How long before I can bounce back to my old self?