pastmidnite

It has been six months, almost seven, since my grandpa died. He was the best father figure I had growing up. At the same time my dad who was an abusive guy my whole life and my mom's continued marriage with him was going through the decline into dementia from his multiple sclerosis. I had to deal with grandpa's illness and my dad's at the same time. Talking dad into committing himself to a psychiatric hospital, finding a new home for my dog that he and mom had been caring for for me, watching grandpa's health falter, etc... all summer. Now the holidays are here and I miss him so much. I feel bad for my dad in a nursing home without my mom. He is so young and was so unkind for so many years that sometimes I wonder why, but I can't help it...he's my dad and there are some good memories. Just having a sad day.