Stuart

Laurie, Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your story with me. I see the similarities in our grief. People have told me recently that our sons have my brains and Heidi's personality. They are good kids,but sometime I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when our 26 year old is around. I think he listenes to everything I say, but he is quick to be harsh or critical. I beleive that he thinks that I'm being "ridiculous" at times. I know he may be suffering too,but I feel there are times when he adds to my pain.I hope that you are well during this difficult period of your life. Bless you, Stuart

Linda, Thank you again. Everytime I read a response from you,I find it slighly easier to catch my breath. Your words hold a great deal of meaning to me. I also live in Pennsylvania,thank you for the hug and for your help. Please accept this grateful hug back from me. Bless you, Stuart

Deborah, Thank you for your kindness. In a brief period of time I have already found some comfort by sharing my story and reading supportive posts like yours. It's sad that we all share this common pain, but knowing that others care is inspiring. Bless you, Stuart

Linda, Thank you very much for your kind and caring words. I told a social worker I met with yesterday, that I believe that women seem to understand me better than my male friends. She said that men are "fixers" and try to repair broken things. I understand you pain and feelings about the loss of your Brian. I wish you comfort and peace in your grieving process. I look forward to hearing from you again. Bless You, Stuart

I lost my wonderful wife and best friend Heidi (she was only 49) to IBC-Inflammatory Breast Cancer, on October 17th. This ridiculous and deadly form of breast cancer only needed six short weeks to rob the world of the most compassionate, caring and giving person ever. I consider myself blessed to have had 27 years with her as a couple and 26 1/2 years as husband and wife. I feel cheated that we cant have any more time together. The word wife doesn't even begin to describe what she meant to me. I am still sick with sadness. She gave us two great sons, they are 26 and 21, I know they are grieving in their own way. I dont think that they understand my pain. I dont believe either one of them have ever felt the love for a woman that I felt for Heidi. I'm grateful that Jared our 21 year old still lives with me. He has many friends that he likes to spend time with so I dont see him very often. I have returned to work, that is my only "oasis",in the turmoil that is now my life. I was fine when our home was filled with family, friends and neighbors. They have all gone back to their daily routines. I cant stand how quiet and lonely our house is. The nights are the worst. I cant sleep in our bed anymore, I miss the pretty girl who used to sleep on the right side of the bed. I not ashamed to admit that I cry whenever I think of her. I was standing by her bed in the Hospice at 3:00 am, when when I said to her "I love you pretty Heidi", she gasped for a breath and said, "I love you too". Twenty minutes lated she died. I'm trying to move forward but I'm still crushed with sadness. I have signed up for a bereavement class but it is two weeks away. I wish it took place today. To everyone reading this, visit the website www.ibcresearch.org Learn about this disease, help me spread the word and educate others. We may be able to save the the life of a woman that you love. Thank you, Stuart