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closs86

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Posts posted by closs86

  1. Hi

    I am so sorry for your terrible loss, I also lost my love on April 6, 2010, we all understand what you are feeling, I wish I could make it all go away for all of us, but we can't. I also get the anxiety in my chest and throat, my doctor gave me medication, sometimes it helps sometimes nothing helps, it all depends, but you can ask your doctor to give you something for it, when I first told my doctor about it, he took and e k g, and blood workup and in the end he said there is nothing wrong with you, you have a broken heart, and that is physical pain. Everyone's advice is so good here, try to listen, go out a little, even if you don't want to, push yourself, it does wind up helping. Keep coming here, someone is always around.

    Take good care of yourself

    Hugs Karen

  2. Dear Alone,

    I lost my husband on April 6, so i am still on a roller coaster, I also do things, work, out to diner, kids, grandkids, the whole thing, but there is a hole in my heart, and nothing none of it can fix or heal it., I keep looking for answers and peace, but there is none. I guess we have to take it one day at a time, like we have heard a million times. we don't have much of a choice.

    take care

    Karen

  3. Hi Jct,

    I am so sorry for your tragic loss, what a horrible thing to happen, I lost my husband on April 6 in 3 weeks to pancreatic cancer, also unexpected and a shock to all of us, I can't imagine what you are going through with a little newborn, do you have someone to help you? I don't know what to say, this is all so heartbreaking, I wish I knew why, but we don;t have the answers here, maybe someday we will get to understand why everything happened the way it did. God give you strength in your life and for your baby, I hope you find peace,

    Take care

    Karen

  4. Hi Susanne,

    I hate when people tell me that stuff also, because i am not interested in feeling better, I just want Johnny back, it feels like my heart is also dead, and i doubt that it will ever feel any different, I also just am waiting for god to take me so that i can be with johnny, I understand exactly what you are talking about. there is no cure, we are not sick, we will never be better. and it seems to be getting worse as the months go by.

    God Bless

    Hugs

    Karen

  5. Hi Redwind,

    Well I feel the same way as you do, I can't cook anymore, so it is a little bit of a problem, I eat a lot of salad with tuna or grilled chicken, I eat brown rice and goya beans with grated cheese on top, I make some garden burgers already made just heat up and a sweet potatoe in the micro, lots of sandwiches turkey and cheese, it is terrible to eat alone, you just do it to fill up. I stopped eating all the healthy good food we used to eat, because it did nothing for johnny, did it? I am eating whatever i am not supposed to eat, i have high cholesterol, sll i have been eating is cheese, like a death wish. which i do have.

    sorry to be so depressing

    take care,

    Karen

  6. I believe that our loved ones give us signs and also dreams, my husband passed on April 6th at 4;44 in the afternoon, my older son woke up 2 nights in a row and the clock said 4;44, he told me about it and that night I also woke up at 4;44, I told my younger son about it and he is a skeptic and he called to tell us that he also woke up at 4:44, I would say that is to much of a coincidence, can't be. I also dreamt of him hugging me. it was so nice and so real, then I dreamt of him again, I was coming home from work and I opened the kitchen door and he was standing by the stove with a big wonderful smile on his face. I believe that they are with us all the time, and come to us in these ways, or other signs, you have to be aware or you can miss the signs.

    Karen

  7. Hi

    It is 3 months for me also, and I find that it got a little harder, I think the fog wore off and reality has set in, I don't know what will happen for the rest of our lives, I can't even imagine being with anyone else, he was my one and only. It stinks being alone, I also depended on him for everything, he was a good man, and did a lot of things for me. we were together 44 yrs, we were one. sometimes now I feel like my insides are dead, like they died when he died, I almost feel emotionless sometimes, very strange. all i know is i miss him so much, and I am trying to live every day, one at a time, so many things i have to learn to do, that he used to do, I know that he is with me to guide me, but so hard.

    God bless us all

    Karen

  8. Hi Wendy,

    I know what you are saying, how and why?????, I guess we aren't supposed to get an answer, but that is what we are looking for, I know that I am, why would this happen to us, there are so many bad people out there, why take the happy ones that are needed here. I just don't know

    take care

    Karen

  9. Hi Joe,

    I wish that we all can find some peace, this is a terrible hand that we have been dealt, Some days like today, I can hardly stand it, I just want to be with him, and I think crazy thoughts to achieve that, then I think of my kids and what that would do to them, I just don't know Joe, but I do understand the feeling like you are losing your mind, but sometimes when you wake up the next morning you feel a drop better, it truly is a roller coaster ride, I was with my husband for 44 years, and we loved each other very much, I really don't know how or why we have to go through this, it is so unfair.

    I miss him terribly today, plus it is my mom's birthday and she is with my husband, a terrible day for me.

    I pray that you have a better day tomorrow, and find a little peace in your mind and heart, I pray that for all of us that are suffering here.

    God Bless

    Karen

  10. Hi Roz,

    as good as it was for us before, is as bad as it is for us now,

    We do find some strength in each other here, I know that it helps me, I look forward to reading the posts at night. I hope that you had a better day today, I worked until 7, got home took care of the dogs, ate a little something and before you know it is bedtime. Like I said before, my favorite time of the day, can't think, and maybe a good dream of our loves.

    Take care

    Peace in our hearts and minds

    Hugs Karen

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