mfh

"What's the matter?" I believe it. I have had that happen...people move on and forget. We do NOT forget and never will. I get frustrated with those remarks but try to blow it off because my grief is enough to deal with without taking on those remarks. People just do not get it. It makes it so much harder, for sure. it is now 10pm...the year ends officially in 2 hours and the new year begins...and I say...who cares. The people on this website get it, people who have lost a close spouse get it and those are the ones who matter. I know about family who do not get it. It hurts. We thought they would understand.

mfh, I am only 2 months into this and am already experiencing what you're talking about. I understand, Di, I write to Bill every day and it is 9 months. My shock and fog has not lifted...I still can't get my head around this reality. I also get angry at family when they ask questions like that...long story. I spent Christmas with friends and am home here tonight...alone. You do not have to apologize for any feelings. I found lots of information on line about grieving and it helps a lot...and i am a therapist which means nothing when it comes to one's own huge gigantic loss. Hang in there. The road is tough and lonely and some along the way will get pieces of it but I have learned NO one gets it because no one can know what we had and most have not lost a spouse.

I am new to this site but find it helpful as so many others are expressing what I feel. My husband, Bill, died in March and starting a new year (without him) while the world celebrates tomorrow's new beginning feels like I am about to climb Mt. Everest alone. I see others feeling what I feel and that is helping me to stay on track with my grieving process. The world seems to want us to get past it, get through it, move on. How alone I feel as fewer and fewer people understand that I am grieving the biggest loss in my life.

I lost my love on March 27 and I am with you on each of these...first birthday (the day after I buried Bill), first anniversary without him, and today is New Year's Eve and I do not want to start another year without him. We used to do nothing also, sit and fall asleep before the NYC ball hit the bottom but we were together...that was all that mattered. He is gone and 2011 feels like Mt. Everest. As others celebrate a new beginning, I sit here waiting for yet another first to come to an end. I hear you loud and clear. We are not alone. mfh

I just joined this forum tonight when I was sitting here weeping over the loss of the love of my life last March. I do not believe you are being self centered. You are grieving and your tears are healing. I cry every day and some days are worse than others. I am still in shock and 9 months seems impossible to me. I, like you, have no kids...friends are good but as time moves on, they call or ask less often. I still write to Bill each day, talk to him on and off all day....just be yourself and embrace the pain. Try not to look ahead. I get nuts if I look ahead...

This letter is uplifting and feels so right. Thank you, MFH