It has been 2 months since my husband passed away in a sudden accident. He was helping his friend and somehow ended up getting crushed by a tractor roll over. We have been together since we were 15 & 16. We just had our 32nd wedding anniversary Feb 3rd and this happened Feb 16th. We were very close and did almost everything together. At times, I just can't believe that this is true and the waves of pain are overwhelming at times. We were blessed with one child and he is busy & I don't want to worry him. He somehow feels he is responsible for me now. When I try to call someone as my couselor suggests when I am feeling upset, they feel uncomfortable and want off of the phone as soon as possible. I know they don't understand, I end up changing the subject to make them feel better. Everyone kept telling me, that I needed to go back to work & I would feel better when I had something else to think about. I just went back to work, which seems to make everyone else feel better. They keep saying, you feel better now that you're back to work, don't you. The answer is no but I evade this answer because of the reaction I get. I know everyone feels better if you tell them you are okay, but I am really not OK. I am surviving so far and that isn't easy. I just try to get through each day and am grateful when it is over. I just can't see my life without him.
