Hi. I've been reading some other people's posts and this site intrigued me. Maybe I can find some help or people that know more about grief and maybe give some advice. This relationship lasted for 2 years, was long distance (Maine - Pennsylvania), and we were talking about marraige.
I am 22 years old. My gf is 21 yrs old. She lost her fatehr about 3 months ago. It was quick, sudden, and her entire family (her mom, 3 sisters) got extremely upset. After the death, I was mourning the loss of her father whom I also loved very much. I was finishing college. I barely passed 2 of my classes. My parents were talking about divorce. I was stressed and upset and grieving too. One day, I told her that I needed to finish this project to pass my course. She argued that I couldn't text or anything. I couldn't due to having to walk 4 minutes to get reception. It was a busy day and I just needed to focus on myself. I said that she wasn't my top priority at the moment. A bad thing to say, but it was true. I needed to finish college and pass my classes. Later on, I said I wasn't sure if I had the spark for her. She talked to me, and I realized I hated the world and everyone in it, was stressed, but still loved her. I apologized, but she couldn't get over it. A week later, she broke up with me, and does not talk to anyone outside her family.
After the breakup, we were still friends. I would leave messages like, "Have a great day at work. I'm thinking of you." After another week, she stopped talking to me altogether and said I needed to move on. I would make some girl happy, just not her. I was devastated. I wanted to marry this girl. For 3.5 weeks, I've learned about grief, and I am trying to give her the space she needs. I want to text her and tell her something simple to cheer her up, but I can't think of anything. My plan was that after a month passes, I send her a unicorn pillow pet, so that she has something to give her comfort, and I will attach a note saying "Thinking of you. Hugs, My name". I just remembered I sent a letter, saying emotional stuff. I realize this wasn't the best thing. And she didn't want to hear it, but she didn't send the letter back, so that is a good sign?
What should I do? What are your opinions? Thank you for taking the time to read this. I want her back in my life. I will wait for her. 2 months since breakup. 3 months since her fathers death, and she is still in my thoughts and prayers every day and night. I love her dearly. Please help.