justme2

Thank you so much for your kind words. I will definately go to the sites you've suggested. Yes, I know what you mean by the comment that sometimes ignorance is bliss. And yes, unfortunately, I know exactly what path she is going down. I do see counselor, so that at least is a step in the right direction. I'm trying hard to remember that when she does pass, she will be in a better place without the mental and physical pain she is in now. I will go the sites now. Thank you, I'll post again. Sincerely, Tracy

Hello, I'm new to this site, but have been reading some of the other postings. I have found some comfort in the compassion and caring that you all show for people who have come here for advice and sometimes just to vent. My sister has been suffering from renal failure for 10 years. I donated a kidney to her after she had been on dialysis for 2yrs, but unfortunately, the anti-rejection meds failed after 3yrs. So, she's been back on dialysis for the last 5yrs. It's taken a terrible toll on her. Her blood pressure is extremely low and so she passes out and falls frequently. She's had sooo many concussions, sutures, rib fractures, lung collapse, broken nose and skin laceraterations... She had an ocular stroke behind her right eye last year and lost 90% vision in her right eye. Last week she saw a specialist because she was having visual problems in her left eye. He told her that because her blood pressure is so low that there is not enough blood flow to the vessels behind her eyes and she is going to lose the vision in her left eye also. She's going to be blind... She has lost so much of her independence already. She's so depressed. (no wonder why) Knowing her the way I do, I know she will give up fighting. We both believe in quality of life over quantity of life. She barely has any quality of life now. She barely gets out of bed because she's so weak. She watches television to pass the time when she's not sleeping. Okay-- now she's going to be blind and won't even have the television to watch. She's always been a Type A personality. She was a social worker who dedicated her career to working with children. I see the decline, so hard to watch her get weaker and weaker. More and more depressed. I'm an RN, I know she's dying. I've talked with families and patients who are in the dying process. Words of comfort and advice on dealing with the grieving process. God, I understand the process--- but I can't wrap my head around the fact that my 58yr old sister is dying. Tried denial... not working. Tried thinking logically-- she doesn't want to live like this...not working. Cried my eyes out...not working. Even tried an extra anti anxiety pill... not working. So, please, anyone I'm desperate. My sister and I are very close. My mother is a true "Mommy dearest" and I haven't talked to her in years.I have an other older sister who I haven't talked to in years. How can I lose my best friend, my sister, the person I can tell anything to and not go off the deep end. Might as well let you know that I also have depression issues too, so going off the deep end isn't really out of the question. I haven't been able to accept this at all. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks