Kay,
Thanks a million for your reply and support. I've been following up on your story through this discussion group and another. Your strength and perseverance through your many ordeals is amazing. I take my hat off to you not only for making it through and standing steadfast in the face of your experience(s), but also for having the courtesy and kind-heartedness to help guide others through theirs. Respect.
I've contemplated on starting my own thread but I just keep changing my mind. Don't seem to be decisive about anything anymore. It's like I lost total confidence in my self. One minute I decide on something and the next minute I go back on it or I decide on something different. I'm just soo confused and don't know any more. Maybe I don't want to start a new thread because I'm afraid they might bump into it (not likely, but what if it does happen!), maybe it's because I feel shame (although I know I shouldn't). One thing I do know is that I learnt a lot from this thread and from all your experiences. For one, I've found out that I'm not the only one out there and that all this might really not be my fault. I've learnt that (although extremely difficult and I'm not there yet) I should try to stop making heads and tails of the story cause I'll probably never figure it out. I took your advice on taking care of me (although it doesn't work 99% of the time) and went to a concert yesterday. Who knows, maybe I will start my own thread. At least it might help me vent with people who share the same ordeal, especially that I'm not much of a talker and hence no one around me really has any idea what's going on with me!! It's been 6 months of heartache and I've managed to keep it all to myself. Maybe my thread will help someone else like this one helped me. Who knows. I'll give it some more thought and let you know.
Thanks Kay. I tell you what I tell myself...nothing lasts forever. And this too shall pass. Eventually you'll find the happiness you deserve with the person who will value you for who you truely are.