sjt222015

Dear Valerie, I too lost my husband a few weeks ago after 10 weeks in the hospital. He had back surgery and was it rehab. We were so happy because they had finally set a date for him to go home. Then a few days later he was in ICU never to regain consciousness. I know I keep catching myself thinking he will be coming home and then it hits me that he won't. I just want to scream NO, this is all WRONG. I don't know what to say other than that you are not alone.. I just joined this group looking for a way to express my grief and hoping for answers but I never realized there are so many of us out there. I guess until you experience it you can't really know how truly devastating it can be. Comforting words just don't seem to be helping me right now as I just can't seem to absorb them but after reading some of these posts it helps to know I am not alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

My spouse died 4 weeks ago and I am feeling so lost and broken. He went into the hospital for some back surgery and was in rehab. He had not been feeling well for a couple of days when one day he would not wake up. He was moved to ICU with pneumonia and put on an oxygen mask and within 24 hours he was on life support. He never regained consciousness and after 3 weeks his body (heart, liver, kidneys) started to shut down. We removed life support and he passed in my arms. They say he had ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome). I am just having a horrible time accepting that he is gone. It just feels so WRONG. I just feel like I should be doing something, anything for him but there is nothing to be done. I don't want to go to bed at night because all I do is cry. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should have done something, saw something, said something, that I missed something that would have prevented this. As I said it has been 4 weeks and the numbness has worn off. I just feel this huge gapping hole. I know my life will never be the same and I am so scared right now. He was my best friend and we loved each other so much. Everyone says it will get better with time but I don't know if I can stand this pain. The thought of feeling like this for a year before it gets better is overwhelming. They say to remember the good times but that just makes me miss him and hurt more. Any tips from someone who has been there would be much appreciated.