magdalyn

Kathy- Thanks, that helps alot. I think numbness is definitely the word for it. So instead of trying to force myself to feel something, I think I just need to let it run it's course. It helps to hear that others have felt the same way. I have been on autopilot since I heard he was in the hospital last week. I got to the hospital (a 16-hour) drive in time to be with him on his last day. I am glad I went though because I got out alot of negative emotions about our relationship. He was just a very angry, lonely man and I was never estranged from him by my choice. I think the most important thing I learned is we are born into this world alone, and we die alone, but we don't have to live our lives alone. Thanks again and take care, Magdalyn

Shelly, Thank you! I was afraid of bottling it up. Having him in an out of my life just makes me feel guilty, and I am afraid of pushing him out just like I did before. But i can't ignore the emptiness! I just needed to hear from someone else that my feelings were normal (as normal as they can be in this situation). You hang in there too, and I hope to talk to you again. Magdalyn

Just wondering if anyone out there can tell me if not being able to cry shortly after a death is normal? I was estranged from my father most of my life, but i spent a few months with him 12 years ago, and recently I was at his bedside when he passed away. then I had to take care of the funeral arrangements, etc. I am feeling empty and disconnected from others, and I cried for the first few days, but now I am feeling just tired, sad, not hungry and I can't cry.