Crow Spirit Animal

KayC.......Went down to pick up mail., quick trip, only 1 mile......jumped into Van and off I went, got mail, and Van would not start to go home....It is pitch black, a little cool, didn't bring my cell, so I had a brisk walk home(uphill).....Got hold of neighbour, jump started Van and returned home...... Lesson learned(same as yesterdays) is be prepared, don't leave home without cell or wallet,,,and dress warm.....have a good evening everyone. 

Aren't we all the same....Brad, the phrase joined at the hip is so true. Even after 4 months, there are times I find myself waiting for Ang. Picked up Christmas cards yesterday, sons, daughters, grandkids, etc,,, then I saw the card for your Wife , I broke down and teared right up......And Gwen, my House is a big waste of Space.....I have at least 70% of my house is avoided or not used...too many ghosts or memories. In the spring I will make up my mind on my future lodgings.........I also am staying away from Windows 10... 

I have not lived alone since 1983, and that was in a Motel.....Always people around.... But now I do have a check in friend, and I am so cautious around ladders, powered equipment, and I watch my culinary exploits.....I to am 63, and double check everything, better to be safe than sorry....Do not drive in the dark, rain or snow, will not hesitate to overnight....and always have emergency kit this time of the year.....Things I used to take for granted, I re think everything now...............KayC...I trust your fall was a bruise or sprain, but could have been worse?

Keeping an eye on ones Health KPI's such as Blood Pressure, BS, and Weight.......I found after the age of 45 or 50 , the RED kicked in.......R.....make sure you Relax..........E........makes sure you Exercise(this is where Dog is handy)...........D.....make sure you watch your Diet.......The weight loss is pretty easy now, just have to manage it . I backed off on Red meat , sweets, milk, and potatoes....Recently BP is back in line, believe this has to do with the weight loss and exercise. The point KayC made on living on you own , if you have any condition, it can be scary. Just another adjustment we are relearning on this journey.......take care

Our own Brussels correspondent.....good to here your words........The current problem whether it be in Syria, Gaza, Nigeria, or North Africa,  the only fix, and I mean long term fix, is a Higher standard of Education, higher Economic  standard for everyone, and a UN that does its job......Never had too much love  for politicians , but as a humanitarian, I sure respect German Chancellor Merkel .........she is a Leader..

That Boost and Ensure (Vanilla) provided my Angela with 50% of the main nutrients each day. I found she was more hungry in the morning but anytime she got the yen /craves for anything, I whipped it up. She may have only taken a bite or two and she was full, but the dog ate well......Canabis is prescribed here quite often.

Sunday dinner is non existant ......and they used to be so special......I had frozen perogies and peanut butter sandwich.....Approaching Four months now. Things are getting better, but this rain and snow makes things so dreary/depressing.......But on the positive side, through most of the paper work..........This new normal sucks big time......

Deb, I'm sure you are aware, Brussels seems to be the hot spot at present.........good luck and stay off the streets, these crazies have no rules....

Gwen, I was in a different but similar predicament , my wife was suffering from dementia and had stroke complications. My concern was if anything happened to me, no one would give her the care she received from me.......I was watching both our blood pressures like a hawk, ate good foods, medications, doctor visits, and lived life in Harmony.........I was (still am) devastated how quickly she passed, but I am so grateful she doesn't have to go through this Grief process . This would have surely did her in or stroked her to invalid status......After a week or two, I realized it was best and actually gave thanks....Doesn't help me, but I believe it sure was the best result for my Wife........

Not being to quick to condemn any one person or group but our History(going back to Old Testy) sure has a lot of violence associated with religion........Fighting army on army, I see as the ultimate waste but, I can understand......but these cowardly attacks on soft civilian targets I cannot stomach........I think the UN...security council...had better step forward, unanimously, and put this terrorism to bed once and for all....and no way around it, it's boots on the ground with Leadership ..............

All my best.....kevin

This Song takes in the Wet, Sunshine, and Snow...........Tommy James                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skydln4BhDI

Margaret .....a trick I was given, when the robots got you ,go to " 0" right away.......it doesn't work all the time, but keep dialing and within 3 or 4 tries you get the" you are in the que" with 5 minute wait.......This inability to talk to a person is a result of just too many cutbacks and poor decisions. Consider how the Vets feel trying to get a straight answer when nobody is there to talk to them.......

Sunshine Somewhere..........read somewhere you were doing some "paper work" and someone else mentioned it was like"erasing" a name...I have been sending letters "Certified Death Certificates", Certified Marriage Certificates, and in one case proof of Co-habitancy........I picked up the phone today(after 40 minutes) got through to a person and they assured me (with numbers and dates), that the applications and Pensions (widower)are all approved as of Nov. 10/2015......That is one big box of papers off my Kitchen table...... The Sun is Shining, I think my Angela helped it along.......

Decided to be logical on how Grief is effecting us...I take the Stephen Covey type model. As we are all different, the Grief addition will imbalance "wheel".......as our wheel is out of balance, we can expect silly things happen, .......Symptoms of this "wobbly Wheel" are people finding too much religion, drinking too much, reclusive, uncontrollable emotions etc.........until we accept Grief is here to stay, and is part of our wheel, we will never be back to (new normal) balance.........Hope this makes a little sense, I still have a wobbly wheel, but am trying to make sense of it......

I lived on the West Coast of British Columbia for over 10 years......I started out Logging in the Summer then finished school and moved to the Manufacturing side. But the big trees need big rain, and we went weeks and weeks without seeing the sun......Our joke was you don't tan, you rust.........Now, later in life, We chose less rain, less snow, and a whole lot less cold.............We  love the dry and the sun, providing the Mountains get the snow........Overcast skies and dreary weather  ,definitely effects my mood.......if there is a move in my future ,it has to be  somewhere dry and sunny..........

There is a lot of great quotes in Shawshank  Redemption, but one that applies to us/and grief is something Morgan Freeman said....".You better get busy living, or get busy dying"..........the First Christmas will be difficult.......as will the other firsts, but I plan on making some NEW firsts in future years, but I reconciled I will always carry a heavy heart....and this new person I am becoming,is a changing work in progress.........this being alone puts us on a steep learning curve with a few marbles missing..

My plans are pretty simple. touch basis with my kids  and extended family week before Christmas.......Return home within 4 days and spend Christmas alone..........I have over 40 years of tremendous bountiful Holidays in my memory bank, this year I will  spend it with Angela  and our Pets .....The house and yard will lit up in a true Griswald  tradition .........I will veg out and watch movies and at least one Marathon program of some type.......PS great to have you back Deb

Well for some of us it is Thanksgiving(again) and then the run up to Christmas......This is a tough time to say the least. Got an E mail today from Grief toolbox I think I should share....the last couple of lines are good............

KayC..... can you quantify very long time?.....I am reassured that others have stated the same observations. It would be nice to know if there was a treatment...vitamin deficiency, diet, more sleep. Gwen, I got  note pads, a Journal, and a new rule about not leaving the kitchen with the stove on.....I've also overflowed the Hot Tub, adding water and forgot about it, big mop job.

This may not qualify for dead inside but I sure am absent minded lately.......I definitely am still cognitively impaired...And have absolutely no intentions of ever going through this again....I made a comment  that before I ever went out with anyone seriously, I would need a full medical report, it got some chuckles, but I was half serious. I find this living alone is a big waste of space full of memories, its not good, but getting better if I can regain my focus.......

Are anniversaries are very close. Your words and feelings are exactly how it is today. I can finally talk about the past without getting misty......moving old storage stuff, clearing out old tax documents, scripts, toiletries, etc.......I used the 100 day milestone to get in gear and take stock.......I think our Goals, as the ones left behind, is to be someone our Spouses would be proud of...

Just got back from Super Market, ran out of large Trash Bags....buying 40 at a time now......Margaret you missed your calling, you are a regular Tony Robins type Motivational speaker.......(typer)...I ran out of gas only after I had one box for the Thrift store and two trash bags started.....PS....even made the bed today.......Tomorrow will slowly continue with the Trash project........