My father passed away one month ago. In addition to being filled with sadness and grief, I have been struggling with tremendous guilt. This is because my father's death was preventable.
About one month before his passing my father stopped eating and complained of chest pain. My sister called a doctor but my father sent him away. As the days passed my father's condition got worse. I begged him to see a doctor and threatened to call an ambulance. My father refused to seek any medical attention and insisted that he would get better on his own. My mother, sister and I stopped arguing with him, hoping that if the situation got severe enough that he would give us permission to intervene. Then, three and a half weeks after he stopped eating, he stopped drinking. At that point we called an ambulance. He was taken to the hospital where he was diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm. He was immediately operated on. The surgery was successful, however he suffered a massive stroke one day later and passed away.
I have been told by many that it was my father's decision to refuse medical attention and responsible for his own fate. Despite this I feel somewhat responsible for his passing by not being aggressive enough and forcing him to seek help.
I know that acceptance and healing come with time but I am concerned that the guilt I feel will prevent this from occurring. I am wondering if there are others out there struggling with, or who have struggled with, guilt around the passing of a loved one and I wish to know what steps others have taken to overcome their guilt.
