Hi, my name is Kaylee and I'm a new member here. Bear with me, as I've neve navigated a forum before! If I put this in the wrong area, please let me know.
Anyhow, back to the topic of the thread. I've felt abandoned by many, even my family at times. I was bullied since the age of five, which made me feel unworthy of many things. My dad would leave me at home, and although it was only for a few minutes, I am a rather sensitive girl especially when I was only four being left alone. I also have a younger autistic brother, and I felt emotionally abandoned, feeling they cared more about his issues than me.
As I grew older, many problems would begin to manifest in relationships. I had one friend, and whenever she'd hang out with someone else I'd become very clingy, which ironically drove her away over the years. I went into middle school, and I had a friend who was very nice to me and seemed to understand my problems. However, I had much social drama going on [bullying/teasing] and eventually she wanted no part of it. Sick and tired of feeling left, I screamed at her to leave me alone. This also happened with a boy I was friends with, but it's slightly different. He and I were friends, which I was completely comfortable in that situation. However, he liked me (which I knew) and he'd put his arm around me, you know, physical contact. It drove me crazy and I screamed at him the same way as the previous girl.
I had a really good friend, who I depended on for emotional support. When she cut off all contact and abandoned our relationship, I was devastated
I don't know why I drive everyone out of my life. I have three friends now and the thought of being alone in a whirlwind of drama makes me feel sick. Has anyone ever been through issues like this?