BethLD

I think I have been thinking too far ahead and that makes it so much harder, like you said its better to focus on getting through the next hour etc. Devastated does even come close to how I feel and no pain will ever be greater than the pain of losing my mother. Hugs to you

Kayc, thank you, I just don't know how people like you yourself continuously pick yourself up after such losses, I know we have spoken previously. Until now, apart from the loss of a close family friend fifteen years ago and an uncle ( through marriage) before that I've never experienced grief as such.

Hi all, I've posted on our thread previously. My mother passed away unexpectedly 13 weeks ago, I understand that it's still very early days and whilst I don't want to simply get past the pain, I'm finding that there is no break from it, I'm living with a constant ache that never leaves. I can get up in the morning, shower, meet friends, pay bills and do whatever is needed of me but this pain is horrendous. Even in a room full of people I'm lonely, I'm anxious and I'm scared sleeping alone, even though I'm nearly 30. Any advice greatly received Many thanks Beth

Sweetpe1, it seems we both lost our mothers to similar circumstances, my mother was 60 when she passed away last December. She too was diagnosed with oral cancer. She went to the doctors with a sore jar and earache, she was diagnosed with an infection at first but further tests later revealed it was cancer. She was in agonising pain and was reassured that even those the cancer was running parallel to the carotid gland it could all be removed. Sadly the operation found that the cancer was wrapped around the artery, attempts to remove it resulted in a massive stroke and my mother passed away three days later. It has been twelve weeks since her death and I'm still so lost without her, she was my absolute world. How are you coping?

Kayc, thanks, I'm just so lost without here, life really has no purpose for me now - I'm not sucidal, there's just nothing there for me now. I have great friends and family and a fab support network but it's not what I need if you understand. Thank you very much for your advice ?. x

Thank you both, Kayc, it sounds like you had a wonderful husband. At the minute I'm struggling with a constant knot in my stomach feeling that doesn't go away, did anyone else experience this? Family and friends tell me that I am still raw at the minute and in time the pain will lessen but I'm doubtful. Hope everyone is ok x

Kayc, its strange I never really wanted to settle down, suddenly I'm desperate to share my life with someone and just be able to fall asleep next to someone. I've been experiencing bouts of loneliness again and the need to be around people. The nights and first thing in the morning are the worst times for me. When I wake up the nightmare starts all over again. X

Kayc, Thank you, any loss is significant regardless of the relationship. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I just feel robbed of extra time etc. Xx

Hello, How is everyone? I'm approaching the tenth week without my mother and I'm feeling worse than ever. My crying episodes seem near enough constant and I'm struggling in all honesty. I just miss her so much, I'm doubtful that I will ever find peace or a reason for living ever again. Xx

Hiya, Sadly I also part of this group. Never in a million years did I expect to lose my mother so soon and I too feel that she was taken way too soon, she had so much more to give to this world. I know I've already spoke with a few members of this thread already and it's been such a comfort and help to me. Beth xxx

Kayc, thank you. X

Hello again girls, I'm still having my fair share of bad days and I don't want to get out of bed etc. The bad days still outweigh the good and I can definitely relate to feeling physical pain when thinking of my mother. I'm finding the nights difficult and am still longing for the comfort of having somebody lying next to me. Just to have the security of falling asleep in someone's arms. I'm still often feeling like a lost little girl for the most part who longs for her mother, I'm not sure that feeling will ever go to be honest. thank you for the congratulations on the job too. How is everyone? x

Hello girls, Hope you're well. I shall reply properly later on. I just wanted to share this quote with you. Yesterday wasn't the best of days for me and then I stumbled across the pic below. Obviously not meant in a spoilt, obnoxious way but rather as a reminder that we are all strong, independent women. Beth xx

Thank you, I'm now at the stage where I can go out, see friends etc but the pain is always there niggling away. My worst times are when I first wake up and last thing at night. I'm so sorry for your loss, I agree I would be lost without this forum now, I just wish we all lived closer together. Even though I know that I will never see my mother again, not physically, I too feel physical pain when I allow myself to think of that too. However many more years I live on this earth will forever seem too many for me now, I feel like I'm lost my purpose. I genuinely don't know where the strength to carry on comes from when you lose a loved one, but I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. Love and hugs to all x

Hiya deb1, Yes I totally understand and I am so thankful that you shared the link to this forum with me. I'm due to start a new job shortly, until then I'm seeing friends and family as much as possible, but it's not the same. I can who heartedly accept that my mother is gone but that doesn't ease the pain. It almost feels like I'm a frightened young girl rather than a grown woman. X

Hi guys, I wondering if any one has experienced anything similar. Im almost 30, still living in the family home . No partner or children. I live with my older brother and previously also my mother. In the first few weeks I was experiencing strong bouts of anxiety and loneliness, these feelings have gradually calmed down but this past week they have returned - I'm not sleeping well and I'm having regular nightmares too. I'm almost embarrassed to say this but I'm feeling scared of sleeping alone also. Does anyone have any advice please? Beth x

Hello girls, ive missed you guys. I'm ok thank you, I'm still not sleeping great and I am experiencing nightmares. However I'm still getting up each morning and trying to remain strong. I've never really been one to depend on friends etc but I'm learning to accept a little support during this heartbreaking time. As deb1 said, hugs to all and I'm always here to support a friend in need. X

Kayc, my heart breaks for you, that's awful. With the memory box I was thinking things such as passport, birth certificate, favourite film, favourite song, key rings, photographs etc. X

Kayc, I have two older brothers, and they were fantastic in letting me make the final decision. I'm so sorry that happened to you, it really does seem unfair to be excluded like that. It's 4:20 a.m here and I'm awake still. Whilst trying to sleep I thought of creating a memory box for my mother. I'll probably look at starting that over the weekend. How are you holding up? Beth x

Couldn't agree more with this quote. Xxx

Hello again all, i hope you're all ok. I'm not crying as much but I still have some tears throughout the day. I'm having my mothers ashes home tomorrow , even though I know she's gone, I'm looking forward to having her home, just in another way. I'm not really sure what grief stage I'm at although I know she's not coming back I would necessary say I'm at the acceptance stage. Love and hugs to all x

Hello both, Congratulations Deb1 on your wedding. I can echo so much with what you are both saying - especially about the unfairness of losing our mothers so young. Never in a million years did I think I would end of losing my mother so soon. It haunts me that she will never physically see me get married, have children etc. However there are ways that we can still plan to ' include them' more so on the special days. Apologies for the words used I couldn't remember the actual words I wanted to use. In terms of family, certain members have chosen to distance themselves rather than stay in touch. I'm truly sorry for what you are both going through with your families please keep strong and know that you'll always have a friend in me. xx

I'm still counting the weeks since she passed away mind, it's seven on the 22nd. I'm struggling to remember memories at the minute and remember how things were. I'm hoping the writing will start to trigger delayed memories. Hope you are as well as can be expected ?

Hey, ive started writing a journal of sorts today addressed to my mother as a way of documenting and sharing the day's events with her. It's not the same as having her here with me physically but I definitely feel better for it. Hope everyone is ok. Beth x

Thank you so much for the suggestion Deb1 - is it your Instagram page - motherless daughters ? I last saw my mother at the hospital on the Thursday evening, she died on the Friday morning. Ironically we were hoping she would be well enough to be released on the Friday. I chose to have my mother cremated so that I could have her ashes at home with me - that comforting to me for now. I've also started sleeping in her bed although apart from the first night in here, I haven't slept much. I'm so sorry for your loss, I also experience guilt when I have better days but you are so right, our mothers wouldn't want us to be stuck in grief. Music has also been a comfort to me these last few days, particularly Jess Bostic - jealous of the Angels. Bette Midler - wind beneath my wings. Whitney Houston - I look to you. Please reach out if you ever want to chat more. Beth x