brat#2

TH I am sorry for your loss also and my best friend moved out of state shortly after my husband died, so I know how hard it is not having friends and family present through this. I'm already glad I finally posted, it's nice to not feel so alone.

Kayc Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone through this.

CL I'm so sorry for your loss also. Yes being without our beloved soul mates is devastating and it does seems that the few family and friends I have do act like nothing has happened, but I guess they can't understand cause it hasn't happened to them, which I don't wish on them for a long time. It feels better already being in touch with others that know what I'm going through. Thank you

Kpl48 I'm so sorry for your loss also, it was lung cancer with brain mets that my husband died from also. I feel I will find comfort here. Thank you so much.

Marty T - thank you for your welcome. I will call my local Hospice and see what they have to offer.

Gin and Brad Thank you and I'm sorry for your loss also. It is lonely and I hope that we can help each other through this. It's unfortunate that we have to be here, but since we do have to be here at least we can go through it with someone who completely understands and as so many have said in other posts, not try to "fix" us.

I've been reading all of your posts for months now and they have touched me and helped me to know that my feelings of being heartbroken, lost, angry, guilty, scared, being alone and feeling like I'm losing my mind are "normal" through this process. It was 7 months and 5 days ago, I lost my husband, soul mate, best friend, my cheerleader, my emotional support for 33 years. We gave a brave short 4 1/2 month battle against cancer. He was doing well with the radiation and chemo and was making some progress until his bowel perforated, a side effect of some of the chemo drugs we weren't told could happen. The doctors wouldn't/couldn't do surgery to fix that because of the cancer and he was in Hospice care facility for 6 more days, when we lost our battle. I joined this group because I realize I can't do this alone. I can't afford a grief counselor (no insurance and not enough income) and I've tried a couple of support groups in my area but there are not many here and they don't really do anything to address true feelings. I find this group a much better fit for me and seems like true feelings are discussed. I don't have any support close by, we moved far away from family when we got married and it pretty much has been us for 33 years.We didn't have children, he had 3 daughters from a previous marriage but we were never that close (although they are trying a little bit), most of my immediate family is gone, except my brother which is there for me but lives far away, his family has not contacted me and most of our "friends" only contacted me about a week afterward and nothing since. Sorry about rambling on, I just needed to reach out. Thank you.