kath48

Hi guys, Well, Karen, you are so right when you said that it's very hard for children to understand what we're going through. Last night, I finally told my son, Jason, that I just couldn't make it to see the twins quite yet. And he bluntly told me that this feels like a direct insult to him and his family. What makes it worse is that my first husband, Jason's dad, hasn't been to see the twins yet either, and so obviously, Jason is very hurt. If you knew me, you would know that I'm a very caring mother and grandmother, and I was somewhat sure that he would understand. In fact, before I called him, I called my daughter, Jenny, to talk about this. I told her that I was afraid of hurting Jason's feelings or making him angry, and her response was, "Mom, you can't put that on Jason's shoulders. He has never shown that he would be anything less than understanding, and so you need to trust that he'll understand about this too." Well, we were both wrong. So what I'm considering is getting a doctor's appt and getting put on anti-anxiety medication and then going ahead with the trip. What do you think?

To my wonderful support group: You guys make me so grateful that I found you among all the websites that our hospice people gave me. I have been sitting here reading your posts with tears just running down my face. Thank you so much for replying back and providing a lifeline for me. Karen, you mentioned that you expected that Ron would recover, because that's what he had done before, time after time. That's what Julius was supposed to do this time......he was supposed to go into the hospital because he wasn't feeling good, stay for two weeks for a good clean out of his lungs with strong IV antibiotics, and then get discharged. That's what he was supposed to do.............get discharged. And then we would go home and love being together until the next time he had to go in, and so on, and so on. He wasn't supposed to get so sick that he weighed 70 lbs. when he died. This is just a nightmare that I'll wake up from and see him grinning and laughing at MASH on his computer. My heart is breaking, but I know one thing now. I'm not alone.

Hi guys! I'm a newbie here in more ways than one. Not only new to this wonderful forum but new to this whole grieving process. I lost my 51 yr old husband to Cystic Fibrosis one month ago. He had been diagnosed at 2 months of age and was one of the oldest CF's in Texas. We were married for 21 years and I have no idea who I am without him and without CF. I feel as if I am floundering without a life raft. What did I think was going to happen..........that he would live forever with CF? I was no more prepared for this all-encompassing, horrendous, takes-my-breath-away grief, but I get the feeling that NO ONE is prepared for this! And what makes it in many ways worse is that most of my family and friends have no idea what this whole process is like! I want to shake them and tell them to do some research about grieving. But I didn't do any research, why would they? Finding this website has been so comforting to me, because it's filled with people who do get it and who I think are about the bravest people I've ever known. So I thought I would bring this problem to you guys. I have two grown children from my first marriage. My son, Jason, and his wife had twins last September. I haven't met the twins yet since they live in another state, and also because my husband's health was becoming worse, one emergency after another. So now the twins are 7 months old, and I made plans to fly to Alabama this last Wednesday to see them and stay for awhile. I woke up Wednesday morning with flulike symptoms and could barely get out of bed. Thinking it's the flu, I called my son and told him I would probably be better by this weekend, probably Sunday. But every time I think about getting on that plane, I get the shakiness, the heart palpitations, and the nausea that I had on Wednesday morning. How will I ever explain to them that I just can't make it to Alabama right now, that it could be too soon? How do you help family understand what they can't possibly understand since they haven't been through it? I would love to hear any suggestions, advice, etc that you may have, because I do not know where to go from here. Thanks so much for listening. Kathy