My sweet daughter age 20, died suddenly in a freak car accident on Labor Day 2014. Like you can imagine we were devastated and are coping as best as can be imagined. We were abandoned by some friends and family like everyone here. We have had some time to process these feelings and I came to the conclusion that anyone who abandoned us never really had our back to begin with; they were fair weather friends and family. It took us a while to come to that conclusion; we were hurt and angry and focused too much time on them, while not giving much thought to who was actually there for us. The number of those who stuck by us, while we were on the emotional roller coaster was small, but their humanity and compassion far outweighed the others. During periods of heavy grieving, I was fixated on those who abandoned us; it was a waste of time. I no longer need/want them in our life and we are no longer hurt or angry; it is, what it is. We are still in the long process of redefining who we are as a family and as people. Focusing on them would be a hindrance to our new normal. Redefining our lives is hard work, just like grieving is. Unchartered waters and uncertainty, which is if you think about it, life itself; every day is different. Changing yourself and your life is very difficult, especially as you get older, but necessary. When I reached the realization that some people were not there for us; it opened my mind and life to other experiences, once again it was not easy, but for me in order to move forward I had to. We had a happy, loving family before our daughter died and we need to get that happy back in tribute to our sweet daughter. This is what she would want, no doubt and we are doing all we can to honor her, in our own way and in the way of our family life. Madeline died, but it does not mean we died along with her, even though for a while it felt like that. Our lives will never be the same, but we are doing all we can to get back on a healthy track. I exercise daily; go to tap dance class, yoga and journal my feelings. We also count our considerable blessings; our other sweet daughter who is in pain and lost her sibling, our intact and happy marriage, our good health, our financially stable life; it took us a long time to realize this. We know that on and off for the rest of our lives, we will grieve. But we are still alive and must go on, not only for ourselves but for Madeline, who loved life more than anything. God Bless everyone here who is hurting; I hope my words alleviated some of your pain and you appreciate the people in your life that did not abandon you. Below is a photo of Madeline, taken two months before she died.