Heatherw

People keep telling me how strong I am, but really I'm just going through the motions. There are still bills to pay. Keith and I were together 16 years but never married so I've had nothing to help me. We overcame so many obstacles and planned on finally getting married this year. But I don't feel strong at all. I just try to honor what I know he would want. And I know he wouldn't want me to lose everything we worked so hard for.

I was thinking it was just me or maybe that I was being selfish. Through this entire experience I've been humbled at the love I have received from everyone in my life. People I haven't seen or thought of have just shown up to be there for me. And I feel bad because I'm just empty inside.

I'm so glad I found this. I lost keith unexpectedly almost 2 months ago and nobody gets the loneliness I feel. Especially as everyone lives return to normal, I have no normal to return to. I don't even know who I am anymore. Life is now a scary place for me.