Cleo Patricia

Yes, I am new here. An online forum is so much better for me than an in person support group which I feel to be intrusive. My feelings are private. I don't like to share them even with my daughters for they suffer their own grief at losing their father. He was my best friend and soulmate, two sides of the same coin. Forty years ago it was during the Christmas holidays we became engaged. I used to tell him if I had known how happy he would make me, I would have proposed to him. This was on Blue bloods, a quote from Aeschylus: That even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop on the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.

Oh, my. I just read this and it literally kicked me in the stomach. This behavior would be cruel under any circumstances, but grief makes us super sensitive. I ache for you, dear one. Now what I am going to say may sound impossible, but, if you can do it and I am lucky to achieve it 50% of the time. Forgive. Forgive him because he has no idea and he can't hurt you. Peace.