Marie Lee

Lost in grief <3 Tks so much...

Hurt like hell is right Katpilot...Tks for your presence.

Brad Tks for the pat on my back.

Bill, I can't wait to hear you are laughing again...

Hello Ms. Karen, I am honored to be able to spend time with you and everyone else around the proverbial campfire.

Cancer is horrible. Lost a colleague last year, way too young. She fought a courageous battle with breast cancer.

My neighbor also was diagnosed..she fought and has been victorious ! She and her sister were so there for me around the funeral, cooked many meals and sat with us to share them. I love them very much!

It is unfortunate circumstances that bring us all together, but I thank you all for being there.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you have comfort with your many memories of your beloved Ron and lovely Debbie. Our family and friends are God's most valuable treasures... 

Hugs, Marie

On March 5, 2016 at 4:50 PM, Guest said:

“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes. In the version of grief we imagine, the model will be “healing.” A certain forward movement will prevail. The worst days will be the earliest days. We imagine that the moment to most severely test us will be the funeral, after which this hypothetical healing will take place. When we anticipate the funeral we wonder about failing to “get through it,” rise to the occasion, exhibit the “strength” that invariably gets mentioned as the correct response to death. We anticipate needing to steel ourselves for the moment: will I be able to greet people, will I be able to leave the scene, will I be able even to get dressed that day? We have no way of knowing that this will not be the issue. We have no way of knowing that the funeral itself will be anodyne, a kind of narcotic regression in which we are wrapped in the care of others and the gravity and meaning of the occasion. Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief as we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself.”

Excerpt From: Didion, Joan. “The Year of Magical Thinking.”

 

 

The unending absence that follows, the void..........

so well put..Tks !

I sit here trying to get motivated...and then I feel such heaviness in my heart.

I never knew grief could be so physically impactive.

very hard to explain to those who have not experienced this...

An old friend called and made me laugh, needed that.

Hoping  for a better day....

Hope you all have a better day too...

Peace, Marie

Thank you Kayc ❤️

Dear Robin,

How very painful !

I think we all have someone in our lives that have an addiction, or patterns of behaviors that are destructive.

I did not experience the drugs with my spouse , but I was married to an angry man. I loved him. We had made so many strides in positive directions during our 30 yrs together...most of it married.

I almost thought he was addicted to anger in a way. He was addicted to food...another aspect of human behavior  that I ponder...

Isn't that an odd thought ? I share this in hopes that it helps. Thank you for sharing your story and your pain.

My brother died in 2010... He was always struggling with drug and alcohol addiction. I had grown tired of his drama and had not seen him the

Christmas before...I felt horrible about that for a while after his death...among many other emotions..

I long so much to live in a society where we help and accept each other instead of blaming and hurting ourselves and one another... 

I am rambling, sorry...hope some of this helps. I am very sorry for your pain and suffering...

Peace, Marie

Good morning, Thank you so much Gwenivere, Gin And George...

Today is a new day.....The sun is shining....I was up late reading many posts.

I can almost hear my Kevin tell me .." Good morning beautiful"...

I am so happy to find you all!

Ours is a hard journey..

Peace, Marie

Hi Kim or should I say Mik? :--)

Oh my, it sounds like the back surgery put y'all on quite a painful journey with a sad ending ...Very sorry to hear :-/

Thank you so much, it does bring a great deal of comfort...

Blessings...

Lost in grief,  You made me laugh as you described putting the notes in a safer place :-) I drive myself bananas by doing that and ironically I will remember the place I removed them from but  not the place I moved them to, so.. Why don't I just leave it where it was?

And yes, I am quite lost these days as I try to figure out this thing called life I am left to journey solo for the present time :-/

hugs

I love that, I will see you soon ... Perfectly put. 

My beloved husbands name was Kevin too :-)

Eevie did bring him great joy ?

Being a widow does seem to be a bit of a lonely journey. I don't mind some alone time, but I miss my partner... Our simple life...

Hugs

None of us are living the life we really want...Exactly.

I wonder aimlessly and think of doing things and maybe I will, one day...

hugs and prayers for comfort and peace.

Thank you Enna. I do feel like I have had a big group hug as I read others and can relate. I see so much love and support.

Blessings...

Thanks Brad. I did some grief counseling for a couple of mths. It's not the direction I thought I was going in...but, here I am. 

Thanks for your warm greeting and kind words.

I love your quote from A A Milne :-)

I am new too.

So sorry for your loss. It sounds very tragic. I can't imagine what that was like for you.

I understand numbness .. I have had that too.

It's amazing how close you become to your partner. Then you're left with what feels like half...so incomplete ...

Hugs and prayers for peace. May love hold you close so you can rest and be restored.

Hi, This is my first time on any forum. I have FB.. But never did a group forum online before.

I lost my husband June 12th of this year.  We were hit by a semi on the interstate. He died instantly. I believe he saved my life as he swerved over to the right taking most Of the impact.

I am doing quite well physically. It's so hard to comprehend that we were in the same car. I had some survivors guilt for a bit, still sometimes wish I could lay down beside him and rest. I miss everything about him.

August would have been his 55th bday. September would have been our 29th anniversary. October, I turned 50... Without him to celebrate with me.  I try to think positive...we were in a good place in our marriage...we had just spent a great weekend with friends... He didn't suffer..he got to meet our grand daughter Evelyn born in May in Indiana. I am so thankful we made the trip...

I am lost...Tried to go back to work, but missed a great deal of work due to grieving and doc appts...

I am hoping it helps to connect with others that have had the same type of experience.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to him...

picking up the pieces in FL...somehow...

Marie Lee