A little under four months ago, my partner of almost 7 years, who I honestly considered my soul mate practically since the day I met him, ended our relationship. I had to say goodbye to the dog we shared, leave our home we had lived in for 5 years, and literally start my life over in the matter of a week. I was shocked, devastated and confused and he was inexplicably cruel during the break up. He would never give me a clear reason as to why, just that he didn't love me anymore.
How is that possible? How do you love someone fiercely for years, only to just stop? He claimed he had been feeling this way for about "6 weeks" but didn't feel like talking to me about it. We have seen each other through some really terrible and tough times in our years together, and I was floored that this is what it came to. We had been having some disagreements and rough spots over the last year or so (finances, careers, family situations, etc), but nothing in my wildest dreams I would have ever considered relationship ending.
About a month after I moved out, he texted me an apology for how he treated me during the breakup. Damage was done, but the apology seemed sincere enough. He offered for me to come pick up our dog so that I could spend time with her, and I obliged. That is how I found out that not only is he in a new relationship with a cute little waitress about 10 years younger than me, but she has already moved into our house. They even bought a puppy together.
I feel like someone has cracked open my chest and carved out my heart. I can barely breathe and it has been a couple of months, yet I'm still not coping. I'm going to work, hanging with friends, and visiting family, but I cry myself to sleep every night and periodically during the day. I cannot, cannot, understand how he could just discard me- a loyal, supportive, and loving partner- like a piece of trash after so many years together. Even more impossible to understand is how he could possibly have moved so quickly into a new relationship?? He swears he wasn't cheating, but I don't see how that is possible. I have been through tough breakups (let's face it... they all are hard), and I've gone through the typical grief process but bounced back within a month or so. However, this is a whole different level of pain. I feel so betrayed and lost. I miss him so much I can hardly bear it and my love for him has not faded an ounce, even after how terribly he has broken my heart. I have never been more sure about anything in my life than I was about him and our relationship. Now I feel like I'm just aimlessly floating through space, not knowing where to go from here or how to recover from this. How do you get past the love of your life deciding you aren't good enough anymore?