Thanks Marty T and kayc for your responses. My Sis was a very caring person. It is somewhat a surprise to me that some parts of the day now are ok , feeling wise, and some parts of the day are not. I know it is part of the grieving process but it is difficult times that are hard for me. I have started journaling to my sister. It has helped me a lot to move through the difficult periods. In the journaling I discovered that I have been holding onto alot of resentment towards her ex-husband who was very abusive towards her , her children, and me. In the past I dealt with the abuse in therapy and thought that I was pretty much healed from it. So, I am surprised that I have held onto this resentment. Knowing a lot about the grieving process (not my first rodeo) I am at a critical junction, i.e. hold onto the resentment or begin to let it go through forgiveness. I understand that forgiveness is for me; not necessarily for him or her. Does this sound like I am on a good track or not? The more I choose to forgive the freer I am becoming.