My adult son died unexpectedly this past summer - my life and my family's lives are completely changed. I live in this surreal world that I can't get out of ever. Two people who I thought were good friends - who I have known for years and years went above and beyond in disappointing me. On the day my son died I left a message for one of these so called friends and all she did was send me two brief text messages saying she was sorry and praying for me. On the day of my sons funeral she sent me a third text saying she was still praying for me. I never heard from her again - not even a dollar store card in the mail. I made the biggest mistake for ever thinking this woman was my friend and for thinking she had a heart. She actually had become a pastor and involved in all types of religious activities. She wears a dark blue jacket with the word "Pastor" in big white font printed across the back so everyone knows who she is. The second so called friend was there for all the initial drama but two weeks after my sons funeral was over she started talking to me about all her problems like she always did. She loves to talk about her health issues as well as all her doctor appointments in great detail and her marital problems. She actually was telling me about how bad her cold was and how much her throat hurt and her neck pain and back pain - on and on. She always wants and expects a lot of emotional support. I have no room in my head to listen to her problems and I have no supports to give her or any one else. When she found this out she stopped speaking to me completely. I was so hurt by these two women - never would I have done this to either of them or treated anyone else like this ever. No grieving parent wants to hear about someone's sore throat or back pain. I think of my son every moment of every day - my life and my family's life has completely changed. I see the hurt in my other children's eyes and the pain in my husbands. Each day is a struggle - some worse than others. I walk through this dark place with God or I will not make it. I just cannot believe how some people behave - I truly cannot. I forgave them because I don't want to be bitter or angry but some days that is a struggle also.
