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About kvolm

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    Los Angeles CA

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
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  1. Hello maryy, I too am sorry to read of these 2 deaths that you are grieving. I am sure that being away from home and without the support of your family and friends makes the grieving much more intense. Healing from the loss of any significant relationship is a process that takes time so even though it has been a year, that can be quite normal. Is there any opportunity for you to connect with your family and friends in your home country? Would it be possible to arrange this so that you can talk about both of these losses with them and share with them how you are feeling and the difficulties you are experiencing?
  2. As a new grandma myself, my heart aches at the thought of losing this precious first grandson. So I can imagine that your reality is SO MUCH MORE overwhelming than I know. I am deeply sorry for this pain that you are carrying with both of these losses. We read so much about the difficulties of being in this "sandwich" season when we are juggling and struggling to be invested in the lives of both aging parents and adult children. But even in all my reading, I don't think I had a sense of what life would be like after the deaths of my parents and in-laws. On one hand we are released from stress but only to replace it with the sadness and grief. Do you feel like you must be "strong" for your son and daughter in law or could you help one another by walking through this sorrow together?
  3. kvolm

    "Grieving people are annoying"

    I applaud your resolve to take a substance free approach. It seems that to give in to the substances does very little to aid one in the process of either grieving or healing. Yet it can be so very tempting when you are at a low or tired or weary point. I am glad to hear that you do have a few trusted and supportive people in your life. I definitely understand that feeling of not wanting to become burdensome to them so hopefully we make every effort to give as much as we take in those relationships. I hope you will not try to pull away too completely from these relationships as we all do need the support of some real-life community. I appreciated the article you shared. I was not familiar with this blog. Are there other bloggers/authors you are reading for insight and encouragement?
  4. kvolm

    "Grieving people are annoying"

    First let me say I am sorry that your mother had to suffer through illness at the end of her life. It is so difficult to watch this happen to any person that you love. It is truly disheartening to hear that you are experiencing such insensitive treatment from others. Yes, other people do move on and that is natural but there could not be any reasonable explanation for others to treat you badly. Do you feel that you have any supportive family or friends?