CairnLady

That’s right, this isn’t the place to interject politics. Guess I don’t need to come here anymore.

I tried 6 different antidepressants, even though I don’t like the idea of taking pills. They all made me horribly ill. I will not try/take any more. Period. 

Seems to me doctors just want to shove pills at you for everything, and I think that’s horse crap.

9 hours ago, kayc said:

Joe is very mellow, very sweet.  I feel we got to know each other much better this weekend, he is opening up to me, showing me more of his personality.  I have not seen any signs of aggression in him.  

Perhaps George put Joe in your path to help comfort you and give you solace, since he now has Arlie with him.

4 hours ago, kayc said:

I hope I find a dog that resonates with me someday that I can have...it'd never replace Arlie, not looking for that, it doesn't exist.

Kayc,

I too hope that one day, in the not too distant future, that you can find another dog to love and be part of your life.

Never to replace Arlie, but to be a devoted and loving companion, and to know the joy of the wonderful home and boundless love you would bestow upon him/her.

Kayc

what an absolutely horrible and heartless thing sending texts like that! 

Good gravy, peoples behavior just astounds me sometimes.

Sorry to say this but your DIL could use a serious attitude adjustment and a swift kick in the pants.

You are Arlie’s savior !

You are breaking your heart to allow him to go to his rest and peace with dignity, knowing how much he was loved by you.

Same here Kayc. My prayers for you and Arlie as you take him to his peace and rest. He will be in George’s care. God Bless.

Kayc,

You and Arlie are in my prayers each day.

My heart breaks for you. 😢

Shelbel,

I’m so very sorry for your loss. As those of us here always say, this is the club no one ever wants to join.

Your grief is still very raw, not even 3 months yet. Right now just try to take things an hour or even just a minute at a time. Be extra good to yourself, eat healthy food and drink plenty of water. Please also get plenty of rest.

I hope you have some support system of family/ friends at this terrible time to lean on. You may also want to seek out a grief counselor to help you with the powerful and overwhelming emotions of grief.

Know that this is a safe place filled with folks who “get it”, and we help support each other, so please know you are not alone. 

I’m sure others will rally and respond with their loving kindness and wisdom gained on the awful road of grief.

Prayers and blessings to you, and my wishes that you can find a measure of comfort and solace.

Just wanted to share a new photo of Michael’s Butterfly Garden. The first photo is one I shared back in May (on his birthday) when the plants were all recently planted. The second one is from today.

If you zoom in all the way on the butterfly bush (tall plant with the purple flowers in the rear of the garden) you can see a butterfly on one of the flower stalks.

My dear Jackie,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved husband Michael suddenly and without warning in July of 2016.

I had the same feelings and thoughts that you are going through right now. I too did not want to go on and didn’t know how I would survive.

Right now please just try to take things a minute or an hour at a time. Please also be very gentle and kind to yourself, make sure you drink enough water and eat healthy food.

Seek out a grief counselor who can help you deal with all of the overwhelming emotions. 

This is not an easy journey, but after 3 years for me, I can say things have become a bit of more manageable. I still have to take things one day at a time, but trust that things will also soften for you. It is a hard road, this grief journey, so just take baby steps. 

Prayers and Blessings to you.

Kayc,

So glad Arlie had a good day yesterday!

I hope you and he get to the park today. It will be good for both of you.

Prayers and blessings to you and Arlie. ❤️

I’m so sorry Kayc. I wish there was something that could be done to save Arlie for you, but we are powerless in that regard. The feeling of being helpless is another unbearable emotion.

My prayers for you and Arlie.

Thank you all for caring. There isn’t really anyone else who does (besides my dogs).

Yesterday was very hard, tried to hold myself together but had a meltdown in the afternoon.

There was one small joy, I got to watch from my window a bird taking a bath in the birdbath I have in my backyard. The bird was thoroughly enjoying itself and I was thankful that I got to witness it.

Today I start year 4 of my grief journey. My heart is heavy. I am so alone and isolated. I feel as though I have been sentenced to life in solitary confinement. I wonder what my crime was.

I know much of my anxiety comes from the prospect of growing old alone. 

I don’t know what I am most afraid of, dying or having to live without Michael.

Thinking too much about either can cause me to have a meltdown. I try very hard to do “one day at a time”, which is enough of a struggle.

I pray daily for peace in my heart and soul, and to find purpose and meaning in my life.

I am thankful I have my dogs, who I love with all my heart. They have been my comfort and support through these worst years of my life.

I keep going because I want to give them the best life I can.

Gwen & Kayc,

Thank you for your kind words. It was a hard day, but the 10th will be even harder.

Do we ever find peace? After 3 years it still eludes me and each morning the gut punch of grief and anxiety always arrives.

I am so very tired, but I keep going because I don’t know what else to do.

Today, July 7th would have been my 30th anniversary with my beloved Michael. In 3 days on July 10th will be the 3 year mark of him leaving this earthly life.

I love you Michael, and miss you so. 😢

So glad to hear you are feeling better Kayc!

Kayc

So sorry you are ill. It sounds horrible.

Is there no one you can call to drive you to the doctor? (my apologies for sticking my nose in, but it sounds very concerning)

I hope you feel better soon. Wish there was a doctor close by.

28 minutes ago, kayc said:

 He is my heartsong, my little boy.

That sentence touched me deeply. It says it all, so eloquently.

Sending my condolences, and wishes for solace to you. May the peace you feel be everlasting.

Kayc,

You did what you had to do.  Arlie is your baby and only you knows what’s best. My prayers that you two have many more good days together.

I completely wrote off my 2 self-absorbed sisters (half sisters actually) after my husband died because of their callous, hurtful and outright cruel judgmental bull crap. I’ll never have anything to do with them again, and I am OK with that. It’s actually one of the few things in my life now that I am OK with.

In my humble opinion, I think people try to “fix” because it scares them, makes them feel uncomfortable or forces them to think about things they don’t want to, or haven’t yet had to face.  Mortality, death, loss.

They want to “fix” so THEY can feel better.

Im not saying this is true in all cases, but I do think it’s true a good deal of the time.

Just my 2 cents.

My thoughts and prayers for you and your dad.

Peace and blessings to you both.

Kayc, 

I am so very sorry, my heart is breaking for you!

I too have lost many of my fuzzy babies over the years, each one was devastating. The last one was Jackson who also had cancer. Lost him less than a year before losing my husband. 

Things like this just make me hate the world sometimes, why must out hearts always be ripped apart!

Your immense love for him will guide your path and you will make all his days the best they can be. Arlie is blessed that you are his mom and you’ve given him a wonderful and happy life.

Sending you and Arlie prayers and blessings.