DebbieGD

Thanks Kayc, I hope your doing  ok.

I MISS MY BUTTERCUP SO MUCH, MY HEART HURTS SO BADLY, I DONT KNOW HOW I WILL EVER OVERCOME HER LOSS. LIFE IS AND NEVER WILL BE THE SAME WITHOUT HER.

Hi Kayc, I'm hurting so bad right now, just need to talk, I miss my baby so much, I'm so tired of crying but I don't know anything else that makes me feel better, I think I'm ok and then when I'm done being busy, and I try to relax all I do is think about her, I imagine it's cause when I've done what needs to be done me and her spent all our time together, even being busy of course she was right there. I miss her so much, going to church ya know watching sermons, and talking to God is all I ever do now, I pray that he will help me, but we'll I don't know, that's all I have to help me through this aside of this site and you. I'm so sad so very sad, I wish we weren't so far away from one another in sure we could have coffee and just talk and cry on each other's shoulder. You seem lake a really good person that I'd enjoy doing that with. My family doesn't seem to care. Your lucky you have family close by that cares and is there when you nee them. I didn't have anyone when I buried Buttercup. I wish she was here with me, she was the light of my life. I'm just streaming tears so I will go for now as I can't stop crying. I miss my Buttercup..😭

Good for her, that's really good, I wish I could go see my mom but family matters yaknow, and with this disease going around. Hope all well for you today Kayc, I thought I seen another post from you, I'm in the middle of going into storage right now, ugh I hate storage, sometimes I wish I could just walk away. 

Thank you Kayc for your kind words. All the sudden the place where my mom is SAYS they suddenly gotten a covid patient so my dad can't visit. Seems strange since the covid patient will be isolated, doesn't it? It does to me, I wrote the home a small note along with a card I sent my mom, I was nice ) :, and asked them to take good care of my mom. I told my dad you'd think for 5 grand a month they could wheel her out to visit and get some fresh air. I'm not happy about these circumstances at all!  Thank you for your thoughtfulness. 

I know about how they put the pets all together, I made d**m sure Buttercup wasn't one of those. He has his own crematorium,and all the pets are done individually, he himself worked for one of those before he quit, I read this ad, and oh my was it fancy, when I got ahold of the guy who cremated her, I told him about them and he said that's the one he had worked for, he didn't like that they did that and started his own, I asked if he was a Christian, really no answer but said he did his college at a Christian college, which I'm a little familar with. There are still some good people out there,and I believe him to be sincere. If it were not so, there'd be hell to pay. I don't know yet what I will do yet about her ashes. 

I'm trying to do better in getting over her loss my sermons seem to help some, if it's not one thing it's the other I found out my mom was put in a nursing home last week, I cried today when buying her a card, it just keeps coming. And I found out when I called home and my stepdad told me. My brother who I thought I was close to said he'd keep me updated, and even my stepdad was surprised that he didn't tell me. I know he has plenty of time on his hands and could have made a call to me. I'm really mad at at him.... But oh well some people like my brother who claim to be Christian, needs to pick up his Bible, I think.

You sound better today, I hope things are getting easier, we will always be broken hearted, time can never heal that, I think it'll try and put it on the mend, but I don't think there is enough time in the world for that. 

Well love ya woman, I hope you have a good day, it's supposed to be 113 degrees this weekend here, how about where you are? is this another nation wide heat wave were having again. Talk to ya later, Deb

Hi Kayc, me too, Charles Spurgeon I watch quite often,so glad they kept those old sermons in a safe place, funny how the world is today, don't know how long it's going to hold on, but just imagine if nothing today is not on paper or in a book which is pretty minimal, and wifi blows all will be lost, just a thought, several yrs. ago I have traveled and these new library's are nothing but computers, seriously. It's kinda weird. Buttercup loved to travel, she loved so much riding. I got both her urn necklaces this last week. I haven't filled them yet I haven't the heart for that, one hangs on the car mirror and the other I wear. When I'm ready I will  fill them, and sprinkle her ashes in a beautiful place. A friend doesn't think I should let her ashes go, what do you think? How's Kodie today, keeping you busy no doubt,they do that don't they, I'm like Buttercup hold on, I said that alot lol 😊 oh she was spoiled!, but I wouldn't give it up for nothing, I miss her so much. I'm glad you have your Kodie, your blessed to have him, he feels your pain, and their so amazing how they want to take it all away for you. God bless you and Kodie. Take care hon, let's keep it going.......hugs

GM Kayc, what a darling dog, I can see he was a great joy in your life,and I'm so saddened by your loss, looks to say mom I know I'm leaving you but with smiles that will always be looking down at you from heaven. Oh Kayc my heart aches for you. You have really got a full schedule, I commend you, bc I know those tears never stop flowing, mine ither, I on the other hand deal with my grief with this site, it's wonderful and Marty is one farout lady.Im so glad we met Kayc bc we are both I can tell have a relationship upon this awful ordeal, and we are survivors. A recent story I'd like to tell ya, a gf of mine after 7 yrs. of 2 beautiful cats, spunky and Matty, she gave away I hadn't seen her in awhile and when I did I asked where's spunk and Matty, she said I gave them away, I about fell to the floor,and little did I know she had just had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized a time AFTER giving away her cats. Sherry gave up her support, her cats, it had broken her, she I've heard from a very good source is in a mental ward as of late. I know the support my baby gave me she could calm any storm life had taken upon us. I miss her so much, I miss talking too her, and expecially her kisses. I understand your going through all the steps to overcome the burden of losing Arlie, they are so supporting and when we lose that, hold on to our seats bc hell just bent. I don't go to Church and I get where your at but try and keep the faith . I'll tell you I love the Puritans, and I listen to the sermons on utube, Puritans keep it real for me, bc I find the churches today are alot of blather and money, not to say yours is mind you, but I feel something's a miss there, keep the faith darling. Talk atcha later. Debbie Thanks Kayc.

Hello Marty, Thank you, And I feel that as well, I'm depriving another sweet animal of all the love and care I could give, there's so many who need a loving master, but I will try my best to pull through this, it's so hard, I've never cried so much ... I loved her so much, she gave me so much joy,  ugg  some "Hold On Buttercup",I want mom... well there wasn't much she ever done that I ever got aggravated about, really not much at all, she was such a sweetheart it's hard right now to even think there's another dog who could be as perfect as she was, and right now I'm afraid I could find myself saying to another dog Buttercup this and Buttercup that, ya know?.? She was so darn perfect ( :  I will allow myself as much time to try to overcome the loss. I loved her so much, and she loved me so very much. As you can see the attachment she's with me, and always looking at at me. I miss her so much Marty. God Bless you.

P.S. I liked the reading you sent about one of the members not understanding about having a grief group for a loss for ones pets, You nailed it!

Thank you,

Sincerely,

Debbie

Hi Kayc I know what you mean, I know people probably wonder about me, I cry constantly, it's been only 3mo. for me, and I'm sure I will be the same in a year from now. Even though I'd buried my baby I couldn't leave her there knowing I was leaving this town so I dug her up and had her cremated, I'm still at odds whether I did the right thing, I haven't moved yet, and I went to the grave site yesterday with her urn sat it on her grave and sat there and cried. I then picked up her urn and left. I miss her so much and as you well know the tears are streaming down my face as I write this. She was such a sweetheart. I had lunch with a friend yesterday and she has 7 dogs she's a strong woman, and I told her I'd feel like I'd be betraying Buttercup if I got another dog, she said that's silly, but it's how I feel. She understands but she's had lots of dogs she has lost so she's been through it for many years. I hope your having a good day....

Thank you Jayjay, Id never give up my time with Buttercup, but JayJay the pain is so hard, my heart is so broken, Everytime I speak of her the tears start flowing. I thank you so much for your caring, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Sickness is so sad for our animals bc we just don't know how much more they can take, but we also know theyed go through hell and high water as long as they can be with us in the physical, that really hurts doesn't it, it is so hard letting go. Bless their hearts, their the joy of our lives. No matter how hard I try I miss her constantly. Thank you for caring Jayjay, I know you know my pain, and that's a comfort to me, though I'm sorry you've been there. Sincerely, Debbie

Hi everyone, I hope all is well....

Im in tears, I miss my Buttercup so much.

I don't understand any of the pain I'm feeling, it's like my whole life has been taken from me. I've lost so much in my life, I made it through all the heartaches, but losing my dog, She was my world, I was never alone having her. I lost my brother and I cried for 3 days, I've lost my dog and I've been crying it will be 3 months on the 4th. She was my heart and my soul. I miss her so much. I have never cried so much in my life. 

Thank you Kay, I'm so heart broken, I know what you mean, everyone's different, but time just passes, it doesn't seem to heal anything, if it did and I've had a few good days, why still the panic attacks, why still screaming her name yelling out where are you sweetheat, oh Kay I miss her so much. I'm broken.  And the tears the tears the tears the tears.

On 7/16/2020 at 4:00 PM, Lexilou said:

Hi Debbie. How are you doing lately? Ive been thinking of you and hope you've found some comfort. 

Not good...I miss Buttercup so much, time has done nothing. I'm in constant grief. 

On 7/11/2020 at 9:37 PM, Lexilou said:

Debbie,  yes it's late. So, hopefully you will have sweet dreams and read this post when you wake up. 

No need to talk about how much money you have or don't have. None of that matters here. What matters is the love and devotion you have for Buttercup. I can tell its a lot of love so let's focus on that love. He only wants the best for you. Try hard to remember your wonderful memories, as I'm sure there are plenty. He loves you so much. Whatever happened in the end is not important in the grand scheme. He knows you love and adore him. I am sure he walks beside you because that is what he knows and is comforted by. It is late and I am missing my Lexi. I'm going to settle into bed but just know our babies are with us. That's what gives me comfort at night. I will tell you all about what happened to my Lexi tomorrow. I just can't go there tonight. I miss her so deeply it hurts. I understand your grief and I hope we can be there for one another to carry this weight that feels so very heavy. Ttyl. Thank you for reaching out. ❤

Lexi, hi I hope your getting my messages, I'm not tech savvy so.. I'm really sorry about Lexi I know how devastating that is. Life can be so good and one day in an instant,gone... And we are forever changed, our hearts are scared for life, the good life is past us now,( this is my take) and now we go through it begrudgingly. I do anyway. I was raised a pentacost, granny my Sunday school teacher my grandpa's the preacher,we lived in the churches house. I thought God was always on my side. I have been so devastated in life, I know what finding your sweet Lexi like that is like lexilou, I really really do. I've tried to make sense of it all, and why God allows such things to happen. To make us stronger,don't know,to teach us a lesson don't know, to follow him don't know,what I do know is the world is ruled by darkness,and many follow. When we fall away or are pushed away form God,terrible things happen,and yet those who are strong in their faith terrible things happen. I get angry sometimes over matters I have no control of, bc I  feel it's my fault,when down inside I know it isn't. The dark side knows it, but he is the great deceiver, We can-not under any circumstances let him become our father!, he is the father of lies. The component of evil in us and we all have it, is his deception. He deceived us in the garden, and it is that component of evil that is in us. Let the Lord shine upon you, trust in him with all your heart.

I didn't mean to preach,just sometimes he hears our call. May you have a bright and shiny day, and good will be in your path..

On 7/13/2020 at 4:34 PM, Lexilou said:

Marty and Kay... Sorry I havent quite figured out how to reply to individual posts/comments. Its a little confusing to me. I do love the obituary Marty. That is very insightful. And I know I need more time to grieve. Somehow, it seems as if it's been a lot more time than it has since she's been gone, you know? Like time is standing still right now... Do you feel that way?

I do,I feel like I will live in misery for the rest of my days. 

On 7/12/2020 at 5:07 PM, Lexilou said:

That was a message from her for sure. What ive been reading and hearing from this wonderful FB group is that when you feel something or you see something and you think of Buttercup, don't talk yourself into thinking it is just coincidence or your imagination. If it feels real, it's real.  

Its been a rough day for me but I'm slowly releasing the guilt. It's not stabbing me in the heart at every turn. Its there for sure, just seems to be lightening. I think because I know Lexi loves and adores me. She knows I would never do anything to harm her. And I say that in present tense because I know she is still with me. Her spirit lives on with me everyday. 

Hello Lexilou, I hope your having a great day, I'm not as it greivous today. I am all alone and it's going to take some time getting used to. 

I'm hurting so bad this morning, I miss her so much, the tears are streaming down my face,and I can't stop, how will I ever get over the loss? I don't think I can, she was my life, my heart, and my soul. I am so lonely without her. 

On 7/31/2020 at 9:48 AM, Lexilou said:

Thank you for this kayc. Very comforting with great insight. Hugs❤

TY Kayc, I'm grieving this morning, and trying to let it go, but it's so hard, I know she's in a better world, she has to be, as this world is collapsing around us, she is free and happy, I just miss her so much, I now have a very lonely existence, it will take some time getting used to. 

It's been a little while, I'm doing better, the days are lonely, I haven't cried as much as of late, but today I'm missing her terribly, she gave me so many reasons to be happy,I'm still very sad, I miss not being a nuturer,as women go, I have no one to take care of,yes I have myself, I'm still not eating real well but at first it was like I had been fasting and not even knowing it,the Lord works in mysterious ways.  I miss her so, yet for about the last 4-5 days seem to let up, and then I felt guilty because I hadn't missed her so much,just writing that lends guilt, I thought of her always but it was a terrible thing, my friend told me you just have to put it in another place when I told her how guilty I felt,perhaps that's what I had done. Thank you so much Marty for your place and time. I hope your having a Wonderful day.

Best regards,

Debbie

On 7/19/2020 at 10:39 AM, MartyT said:

Thank you Marty

Yes Kayc he does, I'm so alone but I pray, and it helps. Hugs

Thank you...

18 hours ago, MartyT said:

Debbie, my dear, if this is how you're feeling and you're thinking of hurting yourself, please, please reach out for the help and support you need! We are here to offer reliable information, comfort and support, but our site is not intended for individuals who are in crisis and actively contemplating suicide. If you're thinking of suicide, read this first.  If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please stop now and telephone 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Using your smart phone, contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. 

Thank you Marty, you are so Dear, I'm hurting so bad Marty, I'm so deeply depressed over her loss checking out is only a flighting thought, but checking out is not an option. The Lord is with me, He knows my strengths and my weaknesses, he's helping me pull through this. 

I'm am so glad I found you..Thank you.❤️

On 7/13/2020 at 12:00 PM, Lexilou said:

Ive had a lot of friends and family tell me the best way to get over losing your dog is to get another one. I cant even imagine that. I dont know how I'll feel down the road. Right now, she's all I can think about. Its a longing. I cry less times a day, but the times I do, I cry longer. It is grief I never knew existed. That makes it difficult to imagine going thru this again. 

❤️