@kaycThank you for responding and for your words. I especially appreciated “I'd get up every morning, look in the mirror, and tell myself, "It won't be like this forever." I think I need to remind myself of that too.
I already filed for divorce. I filed first as my husband was emotionally and verbally abusive, so once I got out - I fled with what I could get. That included three cats (out of five). I am grateful for my four footed family members every day.
As for my mom, I don’t know if she knew I was there. I can hope she knew. She was in deep distress by the time they let us in. But I sang to her and told her stories. (I am in theatre and she loved to hear me sing.) As for my dad, I have sisters near him, but I can only pray it hasn’t spread out of the colon. I cannot handle another loss right now.
I am trying to go for drives and whatnot but with the pandemic, I’m not going out as I usually would. I’m just trying to get through one day at a time. I know my husband is going to drag this divorce out as long as possible and I’m terrified he is going to bankrupt me in the process.
I greatly appreciate you responding though. I feel very lonely these days. I have a friend who lost a parent in March, so she understands the loss of a parent. But I am starting to feel like the Debbie Downer of our world - I have nothing but bad news these days. So I try to keep more things to myself, as to not bum others out. And then I just feel more isolated.
So again, I appreciate your response. Thank you for caring and responding. And I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I’m glad you had him in your life.
Have a safe and sane holiday.
Jen