Bee1234

Thank you so much @kayc. It’s horrible to hear what you’ve gone through, life is so unfair. Pancreatic cancer really is one of the worst isn’t it. I like the idea of writing a letter & burning it - I might give that a try. tomorrow is the funeral, it feels like it’s taken so long to get here & to be honest I’m dreading it! I just feel so sad, and then guilty for being happy, it’s weird! thank you for your kind words ❤️ If other people, like you, have gone through worse than what I am, I know I can manage it. I know my grampa would not want me to be sad. I’m going to carry his coffin tomorrow & I know he will be proud of me.

Hi ilayda. I’m just new to this group and I know you posted in May 2020. But I’ve just lost my grampa too and feeling the exact same way. just wanted to reach out and check how you were doing. Life can be so cruel and I hope you can remember the lovely memories you had with your grampa. That’s what I’m trying to do, as hard as it is. Xx

I don’t really know why I’m posting on a site where I don’t know anyone but sometimes it’s better to speak to strangers? I lost my grampa on 10 January 2021. He was fit, healthy but wasn’t feeling great over the Christmas period and we took him to a&e. They said he had pneumonia. A week later, after tests he was diagnosed with cancer in the pancreas that had spread and we never knew. I can’t tell you how heartbroken I am. He contracted covid and due to this i could not visit him. He passed away. I hate that it happened this way, and that I couldn’t say bye. It’s so unfair and cruel and I’m really struggling to make sense of it all. People say ‘at least he’s not in pain’ or ‘at least he wasn’t stuck in the hospital for months’ but there is no good thing to come of this and I’m finding myself irritated easily by people who only mean well. Which is horrible and I can’t believe I’m saying that out loud as they are only trying to help. Ive just turned 30 and this is the first time I’ve ever lost someone, it’s horrendous. I keep talking to him at night hoping he’ll maybe come through spiritually as I can’t fathom the idea of never having any connection with him ever again. He was like a dad to me and he brought me up, I am going to miss him so much. If anyone reads this and is going through a similar period or anything that may help please reach out, it helps to know I’m not alone feeling like this. Thank you xxx