Hello, my names Lindsey. I recently found this forum while I was searching how to help my girlfriend during her grieving. For context we've been together for almost 10 months, I'm 20 she's 21. We are extremely close and do everything together. We are a lot alike and communicate very well. We always reassure each other and are very affectionate. She knows how much I fear losing her and she has the same fear.
My girlfriends father had been sick for awhile, over a year at least (he was sick before we started dating). She told me she always thought he would get better, but a couple weeks ago he got a lot worse and just died two days ago. While all of that was going on I had my own sick grandfather (we weren't close) in the hospital who happened to die the same day as my girlfriends father (hours later).
Me and my girlfriend don't live together, we are both at our own homes as of right now. She told me her dad died through a brief text message. I instantly replied telling her I was sorry for her loss and that I'd always be here for her if she needed me. She replied 4 hours later and just said "I love you so much". a couple hours after that my grandpa died, I decided I wouldn't tell her about it so she wouldn't worry. I texted her a couple little messages and told her if she wanted me to stop texting her to just let me know. She replied in the middle of the night saying that I could text her whenever I wanted but she did not feel like talking. So the next day I texted her less, and she replied again in the middle of the night saying a simple "goodnight I love you so much".
I found this forum the day her father died. My anxiety was happy to find another thing to stress about, as I've been thinking about the fact that she might break up with me after reading others stories. We used to FaceTime every night and every morning, but we haven't since his death. I have been crying an extreme amount and having trouble sleeping since, and I'm worried after a little bit of time she'll stop replying to me. I can't imagine living without her, she's my best friend and has made me extremely happy. It seems selfish to worry about our relationship when she's going through so much but I just want her to be happy.
I know it's hard to tell right now as it's only been a few days and she's still responding but I'm very scared. I'm just looking for support and possibly advice, I have no idea how to carry on without her. I still have hope that she won't want to break up but the thought is lingering in the back of my mind. I will update this post as more things happen and appreciate anyone who took the time to read this.