Larrylifelines

A couple of days after my wife's death, I knew I needed to let my grief out in a big way. So I got in my car and drove to a secluded spot a couple of miles away. I parked the car, rolled up the windows, and with no effort at all, began to sob. I did that for, I don't know, maybe 20 or 30 minutes--until I felt a genuine release. I was hoping that would happen, because my grief was profound and disabling. In the three months since then, I have not (no one in this forum will be surprised to learn) overcome my grief; it's with me every day, and I start crying again at unpredictable times and with unexplainable triggers. I never try to stop the crying. It's part of who I am now, and it belongs there. In my current partner-less life, it's easy to do my crying away from other people. And that's OK. I still feel that crying is part of the process that will eventually restore a measure of happiness to my life, so I welcome it. But I also look forward to that day when even a familiar movie or song, a distant memory, the sight of her picture--that those triggers will elicit nothing more than a fond remembrance, and I'll be ready to once again be truly happy. I ain't there yet, though. I really miss that woman.