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Widow2015

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Posts posted by Widow2015

  1. My Sanity Needed Vents

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

    I wish I could find a better solution.  When I need help the hire places cannot be here.  As I’ve said, they work in blocks of time or live in full time which is outrageously expensive.  Not overstepping at all.  I feel trapped by the whole situation.

    Gwen:  I remember years ago when we were looking for homecare for my Mom how expensive it was then - 20 years ago.  I can imagine how expensive good homecare is now.   Just so hope there will be a solution soon for you.  Take care. Hugs, Dee

    • Like 3

  2. My Sanity Needed Vents

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    2 hours ago, KarenK said:

    I'm fine when walking around the house, but when I'm in a moving vehicle(even as a passenger), it is disorienting with both eyes trying to focus. I have to cover one eye. I don't attempt to drive any more.

    Karen:   The double vision sounds awful - must make you nauseous as well.  Glad you discovered a way to deal with it by covering one eye.  Understandable you don't attempt to drive.  I'm so sorry. 

    I have limited my driving due to traffic, unfamiliar area, and my aged eyes.  Only comfortable going on short trips and only in daylight.  Good thing I am an introvert so don't mind my company too much.

    Is the dizziness from your vision issue or your blood pressure medication?  I kinda remember your blood pressure medication was an issue for awhile.  Like Marg said, "Our Golden Years are Tarnished Years."  And now, you have worries about your son.  Take care.  Dee

    • Like 3

  3. My Sanity Needed Vents

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    8 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

     Wednesday night was another bad one as she drank enough to get me yelling and have to have a long talk yesterday morning about broken agreements of not being here in that state and me so handy for her grief/rage about 2 people.  It’s that I understand and she is angry, too, that I don’t have romantic feelings for her.  Plus she knows my buttons now for weapons and uses them, contradicting loving me so much.

    Gwen:  I do worry that you are being harmed by having Dee displaying her anger at you.  I guess I don't understand why she would continue to battle with you if you have assured her of your feelings aren't any more than "friends".  If I am overstepping with my comments, please excuse this "old Lady".  I am just so sorry you have to be burdened with this as well as your health/pain issues.  There has to be a better solution to your care issues.

    7 hours ago, KarenK said:

    I am in lounge clothes and homebound most of the time except for haircuts and doctor visits. The big difference is that I choose to live like this.

    Karen: HA!  And, like Marg, I cut my own hair too.  I'm not too concerned about style anymore fortunately.  Guess at my age and vision issues what I can't see doesn't hurt me.  I don't need to go out except to drive down the winding hill to pick up my groceries I have ordered online or go to a nearby doctor's appointment.  

    You mentioned your vision; are you still dealing with the double vision?  

    45 minutes ago, Margm said:

      I need to participate to help my family enjoy the holidays.  I don't want to participate, I have to.  

    And my problems are so few.

    Marg:  Ditto.  I don't want to participate in my little family's holidays either, but no way to get out of it.  My son wants me to help him make the cornbread stuffing my Mother used to make and he enjoyed eating growing up.  Trying to say no to him, but it's hard to make him understand it won't be an easy task for me.  First, I have to try to remember how I used to make cornbread.  LOL.

    Am in agreement, "And my problems are so few" compared to what so many on this forum are dealing with.  I still find myself crying when I think about what used to be.  I let myself cry, then wipe the tears away and push myself to keep on going.  I am blessed in so many ways.

    7 hours ago, kayc said:

    Yesterday I could hardly walk, limped through walking Kodie, severe pain in heel, tried to get in to doctor but they were full.

    Kay: So sorry to read you are having heel problems.  I do hope you can get some relief.  I understand your concern with your diabetes being a factor.  Good idea to rest over weekend if you can.

    Dee

    • Like 4

  10. If You're Going Through Hell

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    14 minutes ago, Marg M said:

    Right now I am pretty down, perhaps being pulled three ways.  My son calls me each night and he "listens" to me talk.  He is like his dad, he either does not talk much or I never let either of them say much. 

    Marg: Keeping you in my thoughts as you take care of your family. 

    I wish my daughter lived close by so I could sit in the same room and talk like I used to do with my Mom or let her listen to me as your son listens to you.  He is a good son.  My son wants to do all the talking and can't seem to remember what I told him.  I love him to death but have to chuckle at his thinking sometimes.  Good thoughts.  Dee🙏🏻

    • Like 4

  13. My Sanity Needed Vents

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    2 hours ago, Marg M said:

      I wonder if it is aggravating to Gwen in Seattle and I think Dee is in Washington also.

    Marg:  Your memory is great to recall I lived in Washington!!!  Yes, Gwen is in Seattle and I'm about 30 miles south of Seattle.  There has been some smoke in my area but doesn't compare to Kay's area.  I imagine Gwen is having more smoke issues than I since the Bolt Creek fire is North of Seattle.  There is an air quality alert until Monday.  My Granddaughter is suffering some since she has asthma issues.  Reading Kay's reports, I won't complain.   Dee

    • Like 4

  21. My Sanity Needed Vents

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    2 hours ago, kayc said:

    Came home and poor Panther, he'd had diarreah and was covered in burrs!  Also has an infestation of ear mites.  My son said Wilco has OTC meds for it, so will go there when I go

    kayc: Glad to hear Panther was waiting for you.  Have you looked on line for natural treatment of ear mites until you get to Wilco.  I remember years ago treating one of my kitties with something around the house.  Sorry I can't remember what.  Great news the Dilly Bar treat survived.  Keeping you all down there in my thoughts.  Dee

    • Like 3

  24. My Sanity Needed Vents

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    Karen, Gwen and all:

    Karen, I can only imagine the pain you experience when you think about the loss of your daughter as well as Ron.  Such sorrow we have to face in this life.

    And Gwen, please know you are in my thoughts, and I do wish whatever is decided for you, you will be able to find a way to feel safe and secure.  You are amazing to have survived at your rehab center this long.  

    I still sign on daily just to see how everyone is doing.  I just don't have much to add with my boring life.  Am still trying to adjust to my new country home after living in the city all my life.  Country life does have some upsides.  Just the other day got to see the cutest little baby deer with his mother outside my bedroom window.  My cataract surgery allows me the freedom to be more comfortable driving and more independent.  I don't go anywhere new or different, only drive the same road down the hill into town to the grocery and post office.  My doctor appointments are all in the opposite direction and only drive to those places I feel I can manage.  I still have conversations with my Bob and crying spells even though it's 7 years since my dear husband passed.  Can't say I've gotten over my grief, I just feel for me I've become numb to the pain of his absence.

    And yes, I totally agree with what Karen stated about the new folks finding this Forum.  So very sorry you had to join.  

    Hugs to all, Dee

     

    • Like 6

  25. My Sanity Needed Vents

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

    Shows me how quickly we are breaking down being older.  How hard it is to come back. Still feels so weird I  am so much younger in my head.  

    Gwen:  Yep doesn't take much to break down the older we get.  I hate how much effort it takes to just get myself out of the house.  I'm happier being able to see well enough to drive, but have to plan a short outing to town in short increments.  No more getting in the car and being gone for half the day.  Now I always have to plan short outings, and once home, I am exhausted.  

    I was invited to an Easter potluck on Sunday with my son and family.  Was a fun day and enjoyed being out around people, even though I felt like I was a misfit being without a spouse.  Even after 7 years without Bob, the deep pain still remains. It took me two days to get rested enough to get on with my week.  The following Monday my son texted the news that one of the little one's, probably 7 years old,  tested positive for Covid.  Last report she has had mild symptoms and her Mother has tested positive.   So far no others who were there have symptoms.  Good you tested negative for Covid.  Dee

    • Like 2
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