Hi all. My mom had been having issues at home with mobility and falling. she is only 70... she refused all help and it just kept getting worse.
My sister finally convinced her to say yes to calling an ambulance to bring her to the hospital to get checked over. it had been 2 years since seeing her doctor in person due to covid - but she also avoided doctors, she preferred not to know if something was wrong, which was infuriating.
Once in the hospital and having an MRI, the found cancer and it had spread to 3 major organs. Prognosis is a few months, and that was one month ago now.
Mom is confused, swelling as it's impacting her kidneys, and in so much pain from osteoarthritis in her back - which now has pinched her spinal cord and she's not able to move her legs anymore. While in hospital and delivered the cancer diagnosis, no visitors were allowed due to COVID which killed me to thing she is sitting there alone for weeks processing this information that she never wanted to hear. She's been admitted to our hospice area of the long term care facility.
we go visit every day. I try to be strong and not worry and be upset while visiting, but i am soooo upset. I'm heartbroken and not ready to lose her. Even if i do have to lose her, I hate to know she's in pain and slowly leaving us each day and how scared she is. My dad has not been to see her which is also very upsetting, he's left this all to me and my 2 sisters to deal with and work through, the doctors, social workers, all of it.
I'm sad and angry. I also lost my 28 year old daughter suddenly and traumatically in June 2020 and am still in counseling and trying to work through that... my husband is not able to help me much as he is also very traumatized by losing her. Once my mom is gone I feel like I want to just go away somewhere alone to heal. I've learned through all my losses that I can only rely on myself and find myself so disappointed in family and friends.
Thank you for reading this far. Struggling badly these days.