Ellzbellz

I also lost my person in July at age 47. I felt robbed of more time with him. I spent the first months being angry at the whole situation, which is really confusing because it's against my nature. His illness was slower but death was traumatic because of covid. I think the hospital continually made bad decisions. The grief comes in waves. The memorial helped me see some others were feeling my pain. I found some quotes that helped me for some reason. The wood is consumed but the fire keeps burning and we don't know when it will stop. - author unknown "The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That's how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I'll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I'll become saccharine and won't develop much compassion for other people's suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible." Francis Ward Weller That being said, I tried eating comfort food and it just swelled up my body and tears squeezed out the top, no comfort at all. I have also not finished settling the estate which I want to run away from. The problem with running away actually just prolonged it. Sometimes I wish I could take care of the books like I was in a hurry so it wasn't looming over me. Sorry you lost your person too, I know how you feel if you feel like you were cheated out of more time.