weaksoul

Dear Marty, thank you so much for the uplifting note. It has helped me calm down quite a bit. It's my nature to unnecessarily delve into unrealistic scenarios. I need to seek some counselling on it. Thank you for listening to my pain and for the kind gesture. Regards!

I am getting crushed thinking about futuristic/unrealistic scenarios. Can someone please guide me it? I am thinking how I am going to live through all these years with so much loneliness and pain. I know you have already provided me guidance on it but I just couldn't hold my emotions hence expressing it out here.

Dear Kayc, Thank you for listening to my grief and for sharing your thoughts/perspective. I am sorry for your loss as well. 18 years is a long time, how do you manage to work with the loneliness/void that this loss creates? I have my kids around me but I am still feeling so lonely. And I can't even think of the time when my kids are going to grow up and I will be all alone. Even with them being around, this void is so powerful that it sucks all the life out of you. I am so sorry for you for losing your siblings and friends. Just thinking of hitting this one day gives me shivers and chills. May God be with you and bless you with his love. I am trying my best to hang in there, thank you for the encouragement. Please keep sending your good wishes, I feel so helpless at times. May God bless you. Thanks and Regards!

Dear iPraiseHim, thank you so much for your prayers, for sharing from your experience and bringing me hope. At the same time I am so sorry for your loss as well. I am only wishing that no one and I mean "no one" ever had to face this type of loss. This pain is so unique & intense that it's unfathomable. I don't know how anyone would face it without God's comfort. Thank you for your kind words/prayer "God will never leave you for forsake you". I need him to rescue me out of this that's the only way out for me. And I wish my prayers were as simple as yours (although it has everything in it). My prayers also have my kids in it. And I am trying to seek every happiness for them along with salvation. Please keep sharing... Thanks and kind regards!

Hi Dee, Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. You are right on point about throwing another loss to the face of your family. However, It's a very pitiful situation where you want to live and die at the same time. Yes, I totally agree with you, sharing your feelings with the people who understand the pain brings lot of relief (though temporary, but it helps). Thanks again for caring.

Can't agree more...thank you.

Hi Dee, there are times when I am feeling completely down and feel like giving up. But the kids pull me back up again and give me the strength to keep going. The pain is unbearable at the time but I think the pain will be worth it if I end up raising my kids successfully. And I have already started to feel a bit better after I have opened up on this forum. I think a big part of the healing is to allow your emotions to flow through. Thank you for listening and caring. Regards!

Thank you Kayc, it's good to know that chances of survival are high. I understand life won't be same again but I just want to be around for the kids and in good health to be able to take care of them. Thank you for all your support. Regards!

Thank you MartyT, I will reach out the Hospice of the Valley's bereavement services. Thank you for the encouragement and for caring. Regards!

@kayc Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and hugs. I have no words to appreciate it. Please keep sending these good vibes to me. I need them so much. - Kind regards!

@Widow2015: Thank you for the condolences and for sharing your thoughts. I agree with you that 4 months is probably too early to get over with this loss. However, I do want to know if gets better with time since it's not bearable at the moment. And how much better do you get/ Do you get back to start living your life normally rather than being a walking dead? It feels so weird at the moment that I can't even describe it. I feel so alienated, it's like I have moved to a different planet all together. And what hurts me is that I only had her for such a short time. The early part of the life was busy with daily struggle and I had just got to the point where I started to feel that I have time now to enjoy with my family. All of the pains and aches of the past have come down crushing on me all at once.

Thanks MartyT, appreciate the advice. Kind regards!

Thank you MartyT, I am reading your book "Finding your way through grief" and I can't express my gratitude to you for the book and for setting up this platform for grieving people. And thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed note and for all the pointers to the other helpful resources. I will surely check them out. Thank you so much for the encouragement and for positive thoughts. However, can you please advise me how to get rid of this feeling that surrounds me all the time. It feels weird, I am being torn into pieces. And the more I try to put myself together the more pieces I found littering around. Thank you again, lots of respect and regards!

Thank you Mik and Kayc for your positive thoughts and concerns. And thank you Kayc for sharing the tips on making thru grief. I have read a few books on it, it all made sense but applying it to your life is extremely difficult. Nothing feels right, every small chore feels like a monstrous task, every moment feels like eternity, every breath is full of pain. When I am sitting inside, I feel like I have to get out in the open and then when I walk out I want to be indoors. All I want to do is talk about her, talk about how unbearable it is. But the family/friends around me have got tired of it. I can't express any of this to the kids. I feel so helpless and vulnerable. Thanks again for your support, I hope I will make some friends here who can listen to and understand my pain. May God bless you.

Hi all, I am here because my grief runs deep and I don't know if survival is a possibility. Looking for advice on how to maneuver in this time and I want to know if there's hope for me. I lost my wife recently to an accident. We were married for 16 years. The one and only love of my life. I am 48 years old. I have two young kids a 14 year and an 8 year old. My world is all shattered. It's been close to 4 months and my heart has been churning nonstop. I made it thru these months hoping that I will start to feel bit better. But it hasn't happened yet. It feels like there is a Knife going thru my heart and it's ripping it out. I want her back so bad... My family was everything for me. All my pleasures were rooted in seeing smiles on the face of my kids and my wife. Now that life is all gone. All I see is suffering. I am well informed on the spiritual aspect of the life. I know GOD is out there and everything is predestined. And he will never leave you broken forever. But I am having so much hard time accepting this loss. I was working so hard to give my kids the best life and raise them to be the best human beings who can make a difference in the world around them. However, at the moment, just attending to the kids is painful let alone taking care of them and working with them to give them a successful life. Luckily my kids are strong and are coping much healthier than I expected. I am feeling like I am the worst dad on this planet. As I can't give them the strength and support they need from me at the moment. I want to know if there is any hope for me, will it ever get better...I want to know if I will survive, because I have to (for my kids). Please advise.