waveslider

Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. I’m sorry for your losses. It is difficult for me to clean out her things, and I keep thinking the room mate is stealing her stuff. 🙏

Thank you Marty. Yours words validate and comfort me. It’s been difficult to find a support group and I appreciate the resources you’ve shared. God bless.

My only sibling, Cathy, died unexpectedly on 5/27/23. She had just turned 60. I’m 65 and always thought I’d be the one to go first. I live in Hawaii and she lived in CA where we grew up. Our parents are both deceased so my sister and my son are all that was left of my family. I flew out to CA the day after the police called to say they found her dead, as if she had been sitting on the side of the bed, and there were meth pipes and a torch nearby. I knew she’s used, but she had seemed so much better the last few years. Her birthday was May 8th and we spoke and she had called on May 14th to wish me happy Mother’s Day. She sounded great, so it was in disbelief that I returned to CA. Im staying with my son while I’m dealing with her affairs. He has not been helpful but we all grieve differently I suppose. I’m really tired and feel so alone. I had a small service for her as I wasn’t prepared for this. A few old friends showed up, and some of mine have been around to comfort me. Everyone was aware that she was an addict. That has now defined her, and it seems shameful and secretive. It is different somehow, as if this is what she deserved or she had it coming. No one knew her like I did though. Cathy was much more than an addict. We have shared good times and bad and despite the drugs. So many good times. The coroner called me last night to tell me she died from an overdose of meth and fentanyl. I had been hoping it was a heart attack, or something. But people were right and that is what happened. I’m ashamed. What do I tell my co-workers? It is just an ugly secret that I have to hide from people when they ask what happened? It is as if an od diminishes their worth. My son just shrugged last night when I gave him the autopsy results. I know he loved her but I suppose he’s had enough. I’m so lonely in my grief. She has a roommate that I am trying to evict that I’m sure is a meth addict. I want to go over there and beat her with a baseball bat. She was supposed to have been my sister’s friend. Momento Mori comes to mind. Remember you must die. I feel as though I’m next and it’s right around the corner. After all, she was my baby sister. I feel really nauseous and sad today. I’m going home soon and there is so much more to do. I feel like no one understands. I want a big hug and to be able to bond with my son and he is just not capable of that. I guess it’s one foot in front of the other but I just want to sleep. Cathy and I were planning a visit with each other next February and that will never happen now. Life goes on until it doesn’t. The tears flow in my lonely solitude. I wish I could have one more day with her.

I’m sorry Cathy G. Does it ever get better? I pray for you.

I lost my sister on 5/27/23. It was an accidental overdose of methamphetamine and fentanyl. I live in Hawaii and she lived in CA. We spoke frequently. May 8th was her birthday and she just made 60. She was really happy. On my 14th she called and wished me happy Mother’s Day. She sounded good. She said she does a little meth here and there. I thought that was ok, as she had been really messed up a few years ago. Then I got the phone call she passed🥲. I flew right out. Old friends and my son gathered for her service. It really sucks that she od’d. People judge. Even my son just kind of shrugs his shoulders like that’s what happens to a drug addict. She was more than just a drug addict. My little baby sister was kind and thoughtful. She was a good auntie and a good sister. I feel so all alone. It’s like no one knew her. I feel overwhelming sadness and grief. She was so beautiful.