Willow

Dear Chuckles, In reply to your statement that you "want your mom back...she would have all the answers".....She does have all the answers and the best part of that is that when you reflect upon that, you will know what her answers are. You will also know that she would NOT want you to be unhappy for one minute !!I, too, lost my mom Aug. 30 of this year at age 97. She "visits" me daily...Some days she stays with me all day long, and then some days she comes and goes. I always greet her and tell her how happy I am that she has come. I talk out loud to her. I tell her that I just wish I could hold her and tell her just how much I love her.....But she knows that because I told her that hundreds of times over the last four years that I cared for her in my home and then the last year I visited her 4-5 hours everyday while she was in a nursing home a half mile from me. And, I have no doubt how much she loves me. Chuckle, my doctor has given me something to take the edge off. I, too, get a lump in my throat from time to time and find myself lying down and sleeping at those times. One of the things I have done is to dedicate my day to her. I have pictures of her throughout the house...all taken by me...so she is looking at me and smiling, no one else. I give thanks everyday for who she was and still is. I still regard her as being there and I am here....but it still would be nice to pick up the phone or have her come through the door. She did come to me in a dream and cuppped my face in her hands and kissed me......I think I'll try to be more receptive to those kinds of visits. Chuckles, I wish you well as you go through this holiday season.... for me it is a time to rejoice and be exceedingly glad for all the good in our lives. Who I am in great part is who this wonderful mother in our lives is and was to us. I like to think that if she is observing me/us from afar, she would be well pleased. Sincerely, Anna

Annie, My condolences to you and your family! I have been sharing some of the very feelings you have been going through. My mother passed away Aug 30 of this year. She was 97 . For the past four years mother lived the first three years with me and the last in a nursing home a half mile from me. I was with her every day, visiting two and three times a day for about 4-5 hours. Up unitl the last week of her life she was sitting in the hall reading hymns, etc. that I had typed out in 26 font for her. She was such a gracious lady and terrific mother. It was hard to let her go. I stayed with her until she passed away, dipping my fingers in cool water for her to suck on, and just holding her, assuring her that I loved her, I would be okay, and that I would take care of our family....and that I would move on stregthened by the strength I saw her exhibit in her life as she met and survived the roadblocks in her life. She died so peacefully, no struggle. I was reciting a poem to her and when I got to the last line "Keep thou my child on upward wing tonight" , she took her last breath. At that very moment, I felt the Comforter with me. and throughout the next three days, I felt that presence. I, too, believe she was with me. I remember talking to her about this event in our lives and I asked her to be with me. She said she would. We had a private viewing and my brother and I had a service which lasted about 40 minutes at the gravesite with about 25 family and a few friends of mine. Only once did either of us choke up when we mentioned her name. Everyone knew how close Mother and I were. They could not believe that I could stand up and talk about her.... I know someone was and is taking care of me. I cried a lot more before Mother passed away as I did not know how to help her. She would cup my face in her hands and kiss me and hold me. A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream. I can not remember a thing about the dream except that mother again cupped my face in her hands and kissed me.... It seemed so real. When I think about her, I regard those times as visits from her...I make her a a part of my daily life. I find that to be very helpful. Annie, I like to think that I am here and Mother is there and that both of us are being cared for as it was when she was here in her own home and I in mine. I trust both of us to God's care. This was my first Holiday without sharing it with Mother in 69 years. I spent several days with my brother. We had family and friends in and had a wonderful time. Annie, our parents would not want it to be any other way. we must remember this. In order to "fly" free, we must set them free...trusting that all is very well and as it should be...right now..right this very minute. Sincerely, Anna