MikeyW

These are ALL such heartwarming videos. This is the way life should be!!! Thank you. -Mikey W

Dear Maylissa, I'm glad you liked my wisdom about life being a crapshoot. It is. There's no formula to good health, a long life, etc. Look at how many people who lead a clean life die young, and people who drink and smoke live to 100. Also, when you're careful and dot your Is and cross your Ts, and sometimes you still lose, although you shouldn't. That's why I get so frustrated. Just like we love our pets and they die young and some stupid moron ties his dog up outside, doesn't give a damn aboutit, and it lives to 20. That's unfair, too. I agree that a lot of cliches don't work. My feeling is that people come up with them to try to make them or us feel better after a loss or something doesn't go right. Just like when you get dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend. The famous line, "There's more fish in the sea." I always add, "Yeah, but it's not the same tuna!" I also agree that in many ways animals are superior to people - hearing, smelling, common sense. I think we're really the pets and they're the masters. We feel guilty waking them up because they're so adorable when sleeping. We certainly know it's not from a hard day at work!!! Anything they want to teach me is fine. We can always learn new things. I don't recall if I've ever had telepathy with animals or people. I do know that sometimes I had what seems like deja vu, although I didn't recall being at a certain place, sometimes it seems that I was there sometime in the past. Reincarnation from another life? Who knows? -Mike

Dear Maylissa, Thank you for your comforting response. Before I forget, both our Randolphs look like the cat on the right side of your photo. Also, I really like what you have printed on the bottom of your message, "I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you." On petloss.com in the grief section, someone wrote somewhere along the line that our loved ones left us because God wanted them or needed them more than we do. While that's a beautiful thought that may be somewhat calming, I would still like to have a pair of boxing gloves!!! You make a lot of sense. Thank you for answering the part about if animals remember their loved ones, and if so, for how long. I have a cute pillow I bought a few years ago that says, "Dear God, WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!" It pictures a cartoon of a little boy tucked in bed with 2 rabbits, a teddy bear, and a kitten. All have big smiles. Yep, we're all in this together, here on planet Earth. It's nice when you can find comfort when you are with the ones you love, because, as we all know, life is a crapshoot. It really stinks when you end up with crap, no matter who shoots! Nice people desreve nice things. Too bad life isn't as fair as it should be. Here's two questions for you (or anyone else for that matter): 1. A few years ago, Muggsy, who was also a loving doll, like Pumpkin, was sitting om my mother-in-law's lap. I told Mom to smile. I took 3 photos. Each time I said "smile" or "cheese" Muggsy spoke! We couldn't believe it! Could she have been reincarnated or what? 2. In about June of 2004, when Randolph I was very ill, I had the movie camera and was shooting him and Pumpkin as they lay in bed. Pumpkin had been with us only maybe a couple of months. I said, "Kiss Randolph, kiss Randolph!" She did! This happened a few times. Again I was amazed. Can you or your animal communicator explain these happenings? Did they understand words, the tone in my voice, were they reincarnated from people, or what? -Mike

Dear Elizabeth, yes, the stuffed cat does smell like a Sharpie. But, it does look a lot like a calico. I aired it out once & will have to do so more. I know your quilt will come out fine. I'll bet there's a lot of wonderful memories to go along with it. I was wondering if animals forget their loved ones. If so, is it pretty quickly. Yesterday I put a comb with Pumpkin's hair on it next to Camille. She sniffed it for about 10 seconds, but didn't say a word. She and Randolph seem to be closer and play more. It appears that Camille usually felt like the third wheel. Pumpkin and Randolph were closer than Pumpkin and Camille. I could feel the pain has lessened and I hardly cry now. But, there are still moments. Is It Better To Have Loved And Lost? Yes and No. Yes, because we all know the joys of love and how miraculous it makes us feel. It absolutely brings out the unselfish best in us as mortals. We feel safe with our loved ones, whether they be person or pet. No, because once they are snatched from us, it shuts down our souls, whether temporarily or at least a part of our souls permanently. Even though we will still feel joys in life, a certain darkness remains with us when we think of our departed loved ones. To be sure, we may still laugh at some of their antics, and their love for us and ours for them. But, when all is said and done, they are physically gone from this planet, but not from our hearts and souls. The "high" we felt in their loving presence is replaced by a "low" of mythic proportions. It's been said that God has created only one of each of us. That is so true. People may imitate Babe Ruth, Elvis, and Marilyn. Numerous people have portrayed Superman. But, there was only one George Reeves and only one Christopher Reeve. But, as we all know, there was ONLY one original. And, that, my dear friends, is the stark reality. Whether it's a beloved person or pet, there is/was only one! Is It Better To Have Loved And Lost? Sometimes the answer is, in my opinion, NO! When we lost J.F.K. and Princess Diana, the world stopped, and has still not recovered from either loss. But, we still trudge on because life goes on. I suppose that's all we can do because there's really no choice. And, when our time comes to leave, all we can do is hope Heaven is all it's cracked up to be, and that we will finally join our beloved loved ones - humans and pets - and our lives will permanently be whole again. Maybe planet Earth is a testing ground to see how we handle the many curve balls life throws at us. Maybe we're being tested to see if we're honest loving, and to see if life brings out the best or worst in us. I didn't plan this to be a philosophic diatribe. It just happened. -Mike

Dear Elizabeth. Thank you. I still worry about the 3% possibility , as Pumpkin tested negative when we had her tested. I usually believe in goin with the odds, but I must admit to being gunshy because we've lost 4 babies in so short a time. It feels like none of them ever existed in real life, but only as a dream. We're still shellshocked about Pumpkin. I wish you well on your quilt.I know it's time consuming. You're better than me. I buy things. It's so much easier. -Mike Dear SoHard2LetGo, Thank you for your wishes. As I told Elizabeth, I'm still nervous due to our cat history and sweet Pumpkin being tested as negative - and look what happened. Also, thank you for your wisdom about getting closer and being more loving towards Randolph and Camille in order to help heal myself. I've started doing so. -Mike

Today (Monday), we took both Camille and Randolph to the veterinarian for testing for FIV and FELV. Thankfully and amazingly, both tested negative!!! Even though the test is about 97% accurate, I still am nervous about it, as Pumpkin tested negative a few years ago when we got her, but still got it. I wish everyone would end up with such great news. We're still in shock about Pumpkin, and it still feels like a bad dream. Do I feel like "Is It Better To Have Loved And Lost?" I'm on the fence. Yes I do and no I don't. Right now I wish I didn't know Pumpkin because the void without her and her love is so big, and the tears and heartache still appear. At least now I have a guarded hope that Randolph and Camille may actually end up with long cat lives. I can say that my love for them is not as deep as Pumpkin's, because she was a lap cat and exuded total love. I guess I'm also afraid to love them so much because of the cats that have been taken away from us so early in their lives. I DO love them, but something's missing. -Mike

Dear Friends, Yesterday at about 5 p.m. Iworked up my nerve to pick up the urn containing our dear, sweet Pumpkin. We still can't believe it! Of course, when I got to the car, I cried. Before going there, I went to a number of stores to look for a calico cat plush toy in which to put some of her hair. At Target I found a FurReal cat. It's orange with some white on the feet, tail, around the nose, and belly. It also purrs and meows when you press down on its back. I went into the garage, opened the dreaded box containing the ashes of Randolph, Muggsy, and Princess. I put some of each into a small plastic packet, all the while saying a prayer through my tears for eah baby. I then did the same for sweet Pumpkin. I also added her hair to the mix. I then sat down in my office and proceeded to turn the toy cat into a calico with the use of a black Sharpie magic. Photos of Pumpkin served as my model for coloring. I then put the plastic packet containing the sacred contents under the skin of my newest purchase. It may not be perfect, but "Pumpkin is now on my office desk. I rubbed some of Pumpkin's hair on the doll so as to try to give it Pumpkin's scent. It does have the Sharpie odor. I then let Randolph II and Camille smell it. It didn't seem to be successful. I really would like to know what they think. I let each of them smell a clump of Pumpkin's hair that I previously brushed off her. Randolph appeared to be more interested than Camille. It feels strange. I never did like having the kids stowed away in a closet or garage. Maybe this will give me more inner peace. Maybe not. I suppose only time will tell. -Mike

I'm silly, too. With cats being so independent, it's an honor and joy to have one that's a lover. I'm glad you have one of those. They're the best!!! -Mike

Dear Elizabeth, I'm very glad you received such wonderful news, and wish many happy, healthy years for all of you. -Mike

Dear Elizabeth, I'm glad you're feeling better. As we all know, there's nothing like good health. Those fish are something else! Happy little creatures, aren't they? I have hair from our beloved cats and will put them into a plush toy calico doll when I find an appropriate one. I'll then keep it in my office, since I'm there the most. Hopefully that will help ease the pain a bit. Between Muggsy and Pumpkin, I NEVER realized cats could be nearly as loving as dogs. I was wrong. But, at a terrible time like this, I wish I was right. Love is great when they're with us and torture when they're not. -Mike Dear Maylissa, I'm so sorry for your loss. No matter how long or short we have our loved ones, it's never long enough. Everything you said makes sense. Let's hope the next world is kinder, gentler, more loving, and that we'll permanently be with all our human and pet loved ones. I'll look at the urns. Thank you for the lead. -Mike Dear SoHard2LetGo, I'm sorry for your losses, too. Nobody escapes this terrible pain. Your wisdom is greatly appreciated as well, as you also make a lot of sense. I know that as the years go by and the pain lessens, we will get more cats. I especially want a couple of calicos that are lap cats. Pumpkin was such a lover!!!! So sweet and innocent and she loved everybody-humans and cats. When I die, I pray heaven is all it's cracked up to be because her loss has left the biggest hole in my heart and soul. She was a saint down here, and now I guess she's a bigger one up there. I guess it's true, that losing children is worse than losing parents. Especially when they do trust us to care for them. We did, but it didn't help much. -Mike

Dear tattoodlb, I'm so sorry about Smokey. Words are so inadequate for those of us who suffer the loss of a dear one - human or pet. I don't know if it's me or not, but it seems that cats are not nearly as hearty a creature as I had believed. You said no other look alikes are like the original Smokey. Our Randolph II is different. First of all, she's a girl. But, since she looks about 99% like our original Randolph the boy, that's why I chose her. She purrs, whereas Randolph I did not. Randolph I played with me more, although it seems that Randolph II has responded to coming to me more lately when I call her. I know its less painful for us that Randolph II so closely resembles Randolph I. Yes, there are different behaviors, but getting another cat that so resembles a departed loved one has taken much of the sting away. It's terrible that Smokey also met such a painful, young end.Maybe we should try fish instead of cats. They might live longer and without damned cancer!! And, no, I wouldn't get catfish either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Mike

Dear Maylissa, Thank you for your kind words about my story. A while ago I read that a good way to try to dispose of the grief is to write about it. Loke Elizabeth, you, too, have a lot of wisdom. Maybe we'll see what really goes on when we pass on. All I know is that I want to end up with my beloved human relatives and adored pets. Then I'll feel whole again because life will again be complete. I guess all we can do is hope that heaven - or whatever it is - is all that it's cracked up to be. All I've got to show for my babies is hair I clipped off so that I'd have something besides DVD, pictures, and memories. They're all in urns in the garage, as I hate to pass by them. My thinking is that I'll buy a plush calico cat doll and put some of their ashes inside of it, and keep it in my office. I'll hug it and keep it in my office so that it feels like they are here with me, and not some damn jar. Maybe some folks sick I'm a sicko, but my goal is to transfer my LOVE to that doll with some of their ashes in it so that I can have something solid to use to express my love for them. I don't know if it will feel any better or not. I suspect - and hope - it will. What really stinks is that we animal lovers have the same deep love for our pets while they're here or not. I wish we could shut it off, but we can't. So, I'll fight my losses that way, and hope it works. -Mike

Dear Elizabeth, That's wonderful news!!!!!!!!! May they NEVER get it!!!!!!!!!!! And, may they stay healthy!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a suggestion for your flu symptoms. In TIME magazine, some years ago, a doctor died. In his obituary it stated that during the flu epidemic of 1918, he told his patients to keep their windows open a little bit to get fresh air, instead of breathing in the same old germs. Very few of his patients died. Other doctors of the day did not give this advice, and many of their patients died. So, keep your window open a bit to get fresh air instead of breathing in the same germs. I hope you get well very quickly and stay that way. Sincerely, Mike

Thank you for your wisdom and the way you say things, Elizabeth. I'm sorry you've had a lot of heartache, as well. In my heart of hearts, I DO hope that Rainbow Bridge IS REAL, and not something made up to try to make us feel better. Rainbow Bridge DOES deserve tons of credit for being there, and trying to help us out with our sorrow. I just pray to God that it IS accurate, and that when we die, we will join our human loved ones and our dear pets so we are completely happy, and the holes in our hearts and souls are finally mended. And, no, you're NOT being silly. We all try to ease the pain with whatever method works best for us. There's not much else we can do, or we'll just be consumed by the sadness. And, yes there are times it happens, but we struggle our way through it in any way we can. So often I wish I were God. If I were, I would ensure that life was fair to good people and good animals. I know it's dumb to keep wishing that would happen, as I know I'm jus knocking my head against the wall. The unfairness, as previously mentioned, is what I have the hardest time with. But, I'm working on it. I wish you would get good news about your cats. I wish everyone would get good news about their pets. They have so much love. -Mike

Dear Elizabeth, Thank you for your warm, thoughtful, and wise counsel. I want to be on your side with respect to my question. I'm sorry you're going to go through a hard time. It's no picnic. Randolph II looks about 100% like the original Randolph, so that's why I picked her. I call her Randolph to help take some of the sting out of what has happened, and it has worked toward that end. We will get Randolph and Camille tested, although we are fearful of the results. What I have trouble with the most is their youth. If a cat should live to somewhere around 18 years old, it's torture when they leave us so young. Added to that, when they are sweet and innocent like Muggsy and Pumpkin, that adds tremendously to the grief. I wish you a lot better luck with your kids than we've had with ours. You sound like a wonderful lady, and I like when nice guys and gals and pets finish first. It's terrible when they don't. -Mike

We just put another beloved cat to sleep Monday. Our sweet calico, Pumpkin, was only 4 years young. She did not have a mean bone in her body. She loved us and her 2 adopted kittens (now cats), Randolph and Camille. Pumpkin also had feline leukemia. Again, we are devastated. She had only LOVE in her mind, heart, and soul. I hope Rainbow Bridge is all its cracked up to be, because when we die, we want our babies with us again. Especially sweet Pumpkin, as the hole in our hearts and souls are so huge - again!!!!! I wrote this article to Reader's Digest for submission a couple of years ago, but it was rejected. What I'd like you, my fellow readers and heartache sufferers to do, if you'd be so kind, is to tell me if you agree with my thoughts or not. Please be honest. Thank you. IS IT BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST? In 1850, Alfred Tennyson published his grief filled poetic tribute, In Memoriam, to Arthur Henry Hallam, brilliant son of Henry Hallam, the renowned British historian. Arthur first met Tennyson at Trinity College in Cambridge, England, in 1829, where they became the closest of friends. Hallam, who had written several tragedies, and appeared to be a prodigy in French, Latin, and the Italian languages, became engaged to Tennyson’s sister, Emily, in 1832. Young Hallam had been suffering from circulatory system problems for a number of years. While accompanying his father to Germany, Arthur developed an apparent slight fever, and died unexpectedly on Sept 15, 1833, at the young age of only 22 years. An examination showed Arthur to have frail cerebral vessels and a weak heart. On January 3, 1834, his remains were interred in Somersetshire, England. Upon losing his dear friend, depression followed Tennyson for years afterward. In Memoriam consists of CXXXI stanzas. Perhaps the most famous of these is verse XXVII: “I hold it true, whate’er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; ‘T is better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.” I have often wondered, is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? My answer is NO! it is not – at least in some circumstances. This may or may not be thought provoking to some. But, as for me, I wish I’d never known Randolph, and especially Muggsy, our young, beloved cats. They both died far too young and the pain of their loss has been much too great. Some people have told us, “Oh, they were only cats.” Maybe I should tell them when their beloved pet goes to the beyond, “Oh, it was only a dog!” My point is that love is love. Whether directed towards a person or pet, we possess true love for that individual. It may be due to their innocence, cuteness, honesty, vulnerability, extremely young age, or any number of reasons. Like it or not, they have captured our hearts and souls. That’s what Randolph and Muggsy did to us. Randolph behaved like a dignified gentleman. I loved the way he’d sit outside and mind his own business and just watch the world go by. I picked him up a couple of years earlier at Randolph Air Force Base, Texas. In July of 2000, I was looking for a job at the Air Force Personnel Center when he came out of the bushes and came up to me. He was probably about eight weeks old. A Master Sergeant who was outside smoking a cigarette told me that he didn’t know where the kitten’s mom or family was, and that if I didn’t take him, he’d “probably get smushed by a car.” I took him. My wife, Carolyn, was surprised when I walked into her office with one arm behind my back and said, “I’d like to introduce you to Randolph!” We both fell in love immediately. Princess, our cat of ten years, didn’t because she hated any cat she ever met, but she lost the war. She was a gray tabby and Randolph was a gray korat. About April of 2003 Carolyn and I came back from a shopping trip. As I went out for the last of our bags, I heard what sounded like a rash of distressing “meows.” Beyond our fence was an overweight calico cat. I coaxed her towards me, and she was so friendly that it didn’t take much prodding for her to come to me. I picked her up and she enjoyed the attention. After bringing her in the house, Carolyn fed her. After asking neighbors if they knew of a missing calico, we kept her when no one had. Carolyn wanted to call her “Molly,” but it was too late. I called her “Muggsy” because I always liked that name, and I did a good imitation of Edward G. Robinson saying that name. I enjoyed that monicker. The name fit her perfectly. I cannot count the number of times Randolph would be eating and Muggsy would come along and invade his meal. Not once did he resent her for doing so. Randolph continued eating after Muggsy had finished. They were a loving, wonderfully married couple. We first noticed something wrong when we saw Randolph vomit in the backyard around Christmas of 2003. Although we thought it was probably something not major, as cats sometimes throw up due to hairballs, we took him to the veterinarian a few days later. After some testing, we were then given the devastating news that he had feline leukemia. We didn’t know what to think, as we really knew nothing about this terrible disease. Muggsy also tested positive. The vet and I decided not to test Princess, as odds were that she also had it, as they shared food and water bowls. Out of our love and compassion for animals, we left food outside for our cats and others. Some reward for kindness. I couldn’t decide if Randolph or Muggsy was my favorite cat. Muggsy died May 8th of 2004, followed by Randolph on July 12th. Although I still cry over both of them and think of them daily, Muggsy is number one. Her pure innocence and loving manner have weighed so heavily on me. I used to fling cat treats to her on the kitchen floor and she’d catch and eat them. I thought she could have done a great job in center field for the New York Yankees. I also remember when I was typing on the computer and she’d lay on my lap or sleep on top of the computer desk. That couldn’t be comfortable, so I’d get a soft wash rag, fashion it like a pillow, and put it under her head. When I’d print a page, she’d wake up to inspect the printed page. Another memory I have is of her happily playing with a ball or pencil. I loved laughing at her wonderful antics. So innocent, loving, and full of life. When we took her to the vet to put her to sleep, we were crying and kissing her so much that even he had tears in his eyes. Such a sweet, innocent, loving soul. Yes, I’m crying as I write these words for my sweet baby girl. I wish I could forget her. To feel totally helpless to help your babies is a tragedy beyond words. They were and will always be our children. What hurts so much is that they died so young and trusted us yet we couldn’t do a damn thing for them. If they lived to a ripe old age it wouldn’t be as painful. Had love been able to cure them, they would never be ill. We considered Randolph and Muggsy as husband and wife because they truly loved each other. They played together and slept together. Talk about adorable! Many times I thanked God for their love for each other and us. I constantly prayed this dream would never end. When Muggsy died at three years old and Randolph at four, we couldn’t believe it. With the life span of a cat expected to be around 18 years, we still had a good 15 to go with each one of our precious babies. Even my few visits to a psychiatrist a year later hasn’t healed the pain. Visiting the “Rainbow Bridge” internet site at petloss.com sometimes helps, but I dread going there and still cry and literally feel a heavy, broken heart when I do. But, as we all know, life goes on. All we can do is hope to see our beloved human relatives and our pets in the afterlife. We had them cremated and have their urns in a closet in our house. How I hate that closet! It’s the same closet that Muggsy holed herself up during her last days. I slept on the floor with her so she knew she was loved and not alone. I frequently hold their sacred remains, cry, and pray. I don’t know if it does any good, but grieving people do what they can to try to prevent going insane. While Randolph, Muggsy, and Princess were with us, another calico, we named Pumpkin, showed up. Of course, Princess didn’t like her. Randolph and Muggsy did. In fact, it’s our belief that Pumpkin’s love kept Randolph going. Less than a week after Randolph left us, Carolyn and I went to the local animal shelter and picked out two kittens, probably about six weeks old. We needed them and Pumpkin also needed loving playmates. I picked out one who looked strikingly like Randolph. Although she is a girl Russian Blue cat, we call her Randolph because of the remarkable resemblance. I can also attest that a big part of the reason I miss Randolph less than Muggsy is because of this look alike in both body and name. I wish I could find a look alike for Muggsy to relieve this emptiness. Randolph Jr. came with a sister, whom Carolyn named Camille, who is gray with stripes. She’s the sweeter of the two, and Pumpkin is a loving mom to both. Carolyn had to have the vet put Princess to sleep in April 7, 2005. I was at work so I didn’t have to suffer the terrible deed of taking her to the vet. Feline leukemia claimed another victim. No, I must admit I really don’t miss or grieve for Princess because of her hateful attitude towards other cats. I have, however, prayed that she is giving and receiving love in the great beyond. And, yes, her cremated remains are also in the dreaded closet. With this constant heavy burden on my heart, I do feel that it is not better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. While I do love our current cats, I do know that my love isn’t as deep. I know it’s the pain of losing Muggsy and Randolph at such young ages. It’s also probable that they were the first cats I fell deeply in love with, and most likely no other cats will fill their paws. Oh, how I hope I’m wrong. Then maybe the grieving and tears will lessen or go away. Maybe one or two cats will someday appear and serve this purpose. I fully understand the strong love Tennyson felt for Arthur Henry Hallam during Hallam’s short life, and the emptiness he suffered after this extraordinary young man’s death. Sadly, we are equals in the terrible struggle of living life daily with sorrow in our hearts and souls. Credits: http://www.victorianweb.org/authors/hallam/chron.html The Idylls of the King http://calpoly.edu/-dschwart/engl380/pages/idylls.html The poem, “In Memoriam,” 1850.