sdcmissingyoudad

HI techy. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I too lost my dad. Although it was last sept I am sorry to say it isn't much easier for me yet. I think the shock has just begun to wear off and at most times now I am just angry. My father commited suicide and I am just so mad that he left me. I am also still upset because although he left a letter-about 20 pages-the why is still unexplained. The reasons that I have in my head are all I have and unfortunately that doesn't make it better-only much worse. Christmas was the only time of year my Dad was ever truely happy so it makes this Christmas very, very hard. I have 2 small children tho and Christmas will have to come whether I want it to or not. The kids were 6 and 8 when it happened and I felt they were too young to understand suicide and they might think that it was an ok solution if you were unhappy. So needless to say not much is spoken on a daily basis between my husband and I although I think about him and cry everyday. The bad thing is that the anger I have cannot be expressed to the person it should be and sometimes unknowingly falls onto my husband and children. I know this is not fair, but one little thing and I just fall apart. If anyone out there can help me get through this-god what an angel you would be. Thank you all.