Hello, I guess there aren't very many teens that come on to this page. I'd like to give it a shot I suppose. I am told to seek counseling and that bit. I am 17 years old, and when I was around 10 I lost my brother John. His father murdered him by shaking him to death "shaken baby syndrom". I was taken from my mother and my then step father (who was in jail for a total of 5 years). Also my other brother Eddie. I have many things that I feel bad about with my brothers death. Maybe what I could have done, or should have done to make things better. I am not sure where or when anything happened, alls I know is that it did and since I am a big control freak, I have always had this crazy idea in this head that it was my fault or i could have done something to keep my family together. I was an odd kid, because usually most kids hate their siblings, i loved them. I took care of them and fed them and changed their diapers, because there was a lot of drug use in the house and I wanted better for them and myself. Now my mom is re-married, and i live in my foster home..with my grandma, and my brother eddie lives with his grandma (his fathers mother). and my mother had a baby about a year ago named raine, that was taken away from her. There arent any sibling rights in this state, although i really wish there where. I dont know really who to turn to or talk to about anything from my past, i end up making things up to my counselors, and i cant tell my friends, so i dont really know where to go. i am really confused, but i am trying to get better and to make an effort to have a future. Ive been hospitalized three times for depression or bi polar. I know that I have no right to be speaking of my brother due to the length of time he has past, but i miss him so much. I am sorry to wayste your time katie
