STARKISS

Hi All, it is now 146pm and my session starts at 4pm so now I am really panicing and having a really hard time breathing... Shelley

Hi All, Just letting you know this will be the last time I post in this topic, I am so very nervous I can not believe it will be the 12th tomorrow.. I am so emotional and I do not know if I will be able to sleep tonight... so scared shelley

Oh My, I have to take yet another day off, my doctor's office called and wants me in for another appointment... I just did my physical for the year and had so many blood tests done and now the doctor wants to go over the results with me... I am a little nervous because it is the first time she has ever wanted to see me after my physical... I hope there is nothing wrong or atleast nothing serious... Shelley

Hi All,

Thanks for the Birthday wishes it meant alot to me to know that so many people thought of me yesterday... I really appreciate you all... I had a much better day because of you all... Shelley

Happy Birthday Marty, Thanks for being someone special to share my birthday with... Shelley

Happy Birthday to Everyone who is celebrating a birthday, I know it is hard to be without a loved one on such a special day but try to enjoy it as much as you can... Shelley

Thanks to Everyone who has replied to me in this post, I am going to be taking a break and going and checking out some of the helpful websites I have been given in hopes I can get through this. Thanks again to you all Shelley

Hi Family Sorry if I worried everyone I am just taking a break and going to check out some sexual abuse websites to see if I can get some help... Shelley

BYE FAMILY

Hi Carol Ann,

I just got off the phone and I told her that I met someone who I could talk with and I also can trust to discuss things... I told her about the fight tonight and about the dreams.. She kept telling me that it was only a dream and not to worry about it... Shelley

Hi Carol Ann,

I just wish I felt safe, I know my dad can not hurt me but i have had many dreams where my dad is talking with my brother in law and they are discussing what my brother in law can do to bother me more... Shelley

SORRY FRIENDS HERE BUT I FEEL LIKE I WANT IT ALL OVER I JUST WISH GOD WOULD LET ME COME HOME ....

I AM TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF MY THERAPIST .... I HAVE PHONE FRIENDS BUT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME... I AM GOING TO PHONE THE LOCAL CRISIS CENTRE RIGHT NOW... SHELLEY

Hi All, Another thing has come to mind, my dad caused alot of my problems today and it is because of him that I am so ill... I am so stressed out that I am not eating properly or sleeping well either and that is why my body is getting so sick because it is not strong enough to fight the viruses that are attacking it right now... Shelley

Dad I hate you for all the problems you are causing me right now and for making my work think that I am a complete sicky and that I do not want to work... Shelley

THANKS FOR THE HUGS I REALLY APPRECIATE THEM... SHELLEY

Hi All,

I am having so much problems right now and people just do not understand what I am going through... I get sick and people at work are so harsh, they say they understand but when something comes up it is all my fault... I did not ask for any of this to happen to me and I am not to blame but people at work keep blaming me for getting sick and taking time off work... When they have to tell someone to stay home because of not enough work I am always the one that they tell not to come in...

I AM NOT THE ONE WHO DID THIS I AM A VICTIM.....

Hi Carol ann, I am going to go to this session with my head up and with my mom in my heart.. I have a heart pin that I gave her on her last mother's day.. I will wear it proud and I will know she will be happy for what I am doing... Shelley

Hi Carol Ann,

Thanks for the idea with the yogurt, I will try it.. I am ready for this session and I know that my mom will be there with me because I know she is in my heart.. I am looking for something of hers to take with me and I found it.. It is a little heart pin that I gave her on her last Mother's day.. I got it back after she died... Shelley

Hi ColleenRe,

I just wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss and that feeling guilty is normal as this point of your grief journey,,, I too had alot of guilt when I lost my mom... i felt guilty because I let her have some treats that she should not always have and I felt guilt that I worked more and spent less time with her... I lost her April 2005, and shortly after that my dad got ill and died he passed away July 2005.. I felt so guilty not spending time with him and taking his sickness as serious... Shelley

Hi Carol Ann,

Right now I am sick in bed but hopefully this evening I can attend my Beaver Meeting and Tuesday is my Brownie Meeting and Wednesday is my Guide meeting... On Thursday I am hoping to go to the movies and Friday my therapist and I are having a phone call session to see how I am doing and to go over things about the family session on Saturday... On Saturday I am also going to try and do something fun after the meeting is over and done with.. Shelley

Hi All, I am finding that I am getting sick more and more now a days but I think it is because I have such a secret inside of me and once this weekend is over maybe I will be less stressed out and get myself healthier... I so want to not feel so sick anymore... Shelley

Well Everyone that rough week is over and on to the next, This week is going to be rough for a whole other reason... I am really sick to add to all the rough times ahead... I have earaches, headaches, and a very nasty cold to add to it... Just not what I need at this moment with everything happening... Shelley

Thanks Marty, I am so thankful for finding this website and everyone here... I am going to keep really really busy so that I do not have to think of what is happening this weekend coming... Shelley

Hi All, Just wanted you to know that I did hear from all the family and they are all attending this family therapy session... I can not believe that this time next week it will be all over... I will next all the encouragement I can get so that I will make it through next week.. Shelley

Hi All,

I have made it through the practice session and are home safe, my therapist and I discussed everything fully and she took me in the room where the session will happen and we sat in the seats that were there and I practiced my speech I am going to say.. I had a large picture of the family and so we placed it where I would see it... It was so hard but I did the speech for the most part and only started to cry a little bit... My therapist just told me to close my eyes and take a long deep breath and than continue when I felt okay... I managed to finish my speech and we went over any possible reactions the family might come out with.. After that we went back to her office and did some prayer therapy and we did the open chair exercise where I got upset more with my dad.. It was a good session now just to make it through next week.. shelley

Hi All, I can hardly believe today is practice day for the family session... At 2pm I will be sitting in her office and starting to really get nervous.. I hope today goes well and that I finally realize I am okay with doing this all.. Shelley